As I Fall Asleep- Joshua Bassett

Chapter 18

I'm sitting in 4th period a month later, thinking about last night. Last night was my third date with Noah and he kissed me for the first time. It wasn't a bad kiss, just a peck on the mouth. I don't have anything to compare it to, it having been my first kiss.

I sigh and pick up my pencil, twirling it around in my hand. I can't stop thinking about the kiss. I'm not thinking about it in the way a girl daydreams about her first kiss. Instead, I'm analyzing it. Not just, the kiss, but the entire date. All of the dates.

Noah is so easy to be around. He's funny, he's so sweet, he even has abs, which I caught a glance of one afternoon when we got out of practice late. So why, even with all of that, didn't I feel anything when we kissed?

After thinking about it the entire period I decide that the lack of spark was because it was our first kiss. my first kiss. We were both nervous. It will get better, I know it will.

My phone buzzes with a text from Noah.

'Want to come over tonight and watch a movie?'

I text back, 'Sure, I'll drive over. Is 8 ok?"

He sends a thumbs up emoji and I put my phone down. I attempt to pay attention to the teacher, who's droning on about the anatomy of worms. I sigh. I mean, really, who even cares about worms?

I go through the rest of the day, and practice, without thinking about Noah and our kiss.

After practice I head home. Once I pull into the driveway, my phone lights up with a notification. It's a text from Josh. Our contact has been much better lately, with us texting everyday and calling a few times a week. Since we talk all the time, our friendship has been growing stronger and I consider him one of my best friends.

Instead of texting back, I call him.

"Hey, what's up? Your text said it was important."

"So you know how Sabrina and I took a break a while ago?"

"Yeeeahh," I say, drawing out the word. I don't know why, but I don't like where this is going. My stomach feels a bit queasy as he goes on.

"Well, she texted me last night and said she wanted our break to end. That she wanted to get back together."

I don't respond for a minute, taking in what he just said. Josh never went into depth about why they broke up, but the fact that they went on a break and didn't break up, means something.

"Ok, well what do you want?"

Josh groans, obviously conflicted. "I don't know. On the one hand, I miss her too. ON the other, I don't know if missing her is enough to base a relationship on."

"I think you should take some time to think things out before you make a decision."

"Yeah, you're right. I need to focus on something else right now. Anyways, I'm thinking about-" Josh is cut off by someone shouting his name.

"I have to go," he tells me, "But I'll talk to you later, yeah?"

"Yeah," I say, and we hang up.

I get out of the car and go to take a shower. Was Josh going to get back together with Sabrina? Why did the possibility of that give me a weird feeling in my stomach?

I throw these thoughts out of my head as I step under the warm stream of water. I needed to divert my focus onto something else too. Tonight, I was going to make sure there was a spark between Noah and me.

***

I snuggle closer into Noah's side, inhaling as I do so. He smells nice. A mix between chlorine and laundry detergent. I focus my attention on the screen in front of us playing a movie I have never heard of. I let Noah pick it out.