As I Fall Asleep- Joshua Bassett

Chapter 21

I push him away, after a few seconds.

"What are you doing?" I ask, breathing harder than normal.

Josh kissed me.

Joshua Bassett kissed me, and I pushed him away. Sure, it was the logical thing to do. There's so much up in the air right now with Noah and Sabrina. Just thinking about that stresses me out so I decide that I don't want to think.

"Nothing, never mind. I thought... just never mind." he says, obviously flustered.

My lips are still tingling from the short kiss, and I know I want to feel that again.

I step closer to Josh and tilt my head up slightly. Josh looks skeptical. I mean, I had just shoved him away for kissing me. He's not going to try again. I guess I'll have to make the move.

I brush my lips against his lightly, leaving a feather of a kiss. I pull back slightly, looking at Josh's eyes. They look like they're sparkling.

Before I can get too good of a look at his chocolate eyes, he lowers his lip to mine once again. This kiss is harder than the last. One of his arms snakes around my body, holding me to him. His other hand comes to the back of my head, pulling me closer.

His lips are firm, but oh so soft.

Sparks fly with our passion as I run my ringers through Joshua's wet hair, sending a shiver down his spine. I smile against his lips, loving that I caused that reaction.

Josh pulls back, breathing heavily. "Are you ok?"

Was I ok? Ok with the kiss? Ok with it being with him? Was he talking about the cold water taht we were both currently still in? I didn't know, but all my answers right now are yes. I'm more than ok.

I nod and bring his head down a little so I can continue to kiss him. I savor him.

Josh must take this as a good sign because he deepens the kiss, opening his mouth, and I do the same.

This is what a kiss should be. This is how it's supposed to feel.

Scary, passionate, hot, yet cold, difficult, but at the same time, so easy.

We explore each other's mouths for not nearly long enough when Josh breaks the kiss, physically taking a step back.

Hurt flashes through me but I cover it just as quickly as it came. Did I do something wrong? Did he realize that kissing me is a mistake?

"We should go inside, I don't want you to freeze." His voice is raspy, like he's been talking for far too long.

Yes, the water was freezing, but the coldness I was feeling wasn't because of the water.

"Yeah, ok," I respond.

We are both breathing hard as we climb out of the pool.

I grab a towel and toss it to him. He catches it and starts drying his hair off. As he lifts his arm to dry his hair, his shirt rises, giving me a glance of his lower abdomen.

"I'm going to go to my room. Do you need anything?" I ask, looking away and wrapping a towel around myself.

Josh doesn't look me in the eyes. "No, I'm good. Goodnight."

What the heck? Why is he so distant suddenly?

"Ok, goodnight." I say, closing the door and sneaking into the house, careful not to wake anyone up. I didn't need a bunch of questions from my parents or siblings right now.

I change into dry clothes and hop in bed, a million questions and emotions running through my head.

Why did he change all of a sudden, after we kissed? Will this ruin our friendship? Do I want it to ruin the friendship? What about Sabrina? What about Noah?