PUBERTY TWO [ FIVE HARGREEVES X READER ] ♡

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FUNERALS SUCK ASS.

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I stared up at an odd looking statue while I stood just between Klaus and Five, Five held an umbrella above the two of us whilst he held my waist tightly.

Luther stood tall, with an urn in hand. "Did something happen?" an unfamiliar voice questioned, I looked over to see a beautiful woman. She looked almost to perfect to be real, a perfect smile was plastered on her face, as her lips were painted red and her light colored hair layed perfectly behind her shoulders. Who was this?

Her abnormally friendly smile was very strange considering this is a funeral. The seemingly monstrous Father of the family's funeral.

Five had told me of the horrors that took place in his humble house. And of course I heard some things from that book as well, so of course no one deserved to die but this death felt quite right.

"Dad died, Remember?" Allison perked up, "Oh. Yes, of course." the pretty woman said, suddenly changing her expression to a sorrowful one. I frowned as I now directed my attention to Luther again.

I loved funerals, I loved getting dressed for them but I was unfortunately left with only this ugly uniform to wear, that's what made me want this whole thing to be quick and over with.

"Is Mom okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She needs to rest. You know, recharge." Diego replied to Vanya while he looked over to his Mother next to him.

So she's their Mother? Five had mentioned a robotic Mother but i thought he was shitting me, guess not.

It was odd, she didn't look robotic, like some non breathing object. That's rude, don't call your husband's Mother an object, Y/N.

A chimpanzee walked forward, Five had told me about him before, about Pogo. Pogo had a cane in hand as he looked very elderly himself, "Whenever you're ready, dear boy." the chimp spoke in a raspy tone, directing his words to Luther.

Luther sighed, as he looked down at the urn he held in his hands, he lifted his hand to take off the lid, tilting it slowly as he dumped all the ashes on the ground below.

I recoiled. How anticlimactic. Everyone looked disappointed, if it was appropriate, I'd laugh actually. This was just purely pathetic.

"Probably would have been better with some wind." Luther spoke, good Mother Mary.

"Oh, really?" I muttered to myself in a sarcastic tone, could've thought it would be but your pea sized brain couldn't have come up to that conclusion until now.

Perhaps I'm being a bit rude now but it was whatever.

Five kicked my leg gently, as if saying shut up. I looked over to his face as I muttered "Ow." . His face was stern as he kept his eyes forward.

"Does anyone wish to speak?" Pogo said, poor Pogo. I remember how Five said Pogo and Sir Reginald had always been very close, this must've been utterly devastating for him.

Everyone stood quietly, looking around and what not, I looked down myself. "Very well. In all regards, " here we go, "Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone I shall forever be in his debt.

He was my master . . . and my friend, and I shall miss him very much." that was to say it plainly, beautiful.

"He leaves behind a complicated legacy-" "He was a monster." Diego interrupted, where are his manners? How utterly disrespectful, tsk tsk.

I feel like a Mother, I enjoy that.

I look to my side as I felt warmth leave my waist as someone now touched my hand, Five's hand has moved to interlock with my own, I smiled at this softly.

Klaus laughed from next to me, I looked at him angrily as I nudged his shoulder lightly, smoking at a funeral is already disrespectful, now laughing? Klaus looked over to me in a pout as he mouthed, "Sorry."

"He was a bad person and a worse father.The worlds better off without him."

"Diego."

"My name is Number Two. You know why? Because our father couldn't be bothered to give us actual names." it is terrible, but I guess it is what it is. "He had mom do it."

I glanced between the two grown men inching towards one another as their bickering became more intense, I knew it was bad but this wss quite entertaining. Especially with how odd and indifferent this family was.

What a wonderful day to be apart of this family may I add.

"Would anyone like something to eat?" their Mother said suddenly out of the blue, just at the mention of her.

"No, it's okay, Mom." Vanya said as the Mother looked at nothing particular. "Oh, okay." she nodded kindly.

"Look, you wanna pay your respects? Go ahead. But at least be honest about the man he was."

"You should stop talking now." Luther chimed in, please do not actually fight you dimwits.

Diego stared at Luther with his head tilted, thinking of his next words, probably not. He doesn't seem like the type to think before he says something . . .

"You know, you of all people should be on my side here Number One." Diego started, oh, have you met Luther? From what I've heard, he'd follow father to the end, like a loyal dog to his owner. I don't think you'd be able to turn someone like that's perspective so quickly, he seemed stubborn.

"I am warning you."

Five looked beyond me, staring at Klaus with a disapproving look, Klaus glanced back quickly as he was focusing on the argument infront of us.

"He had to ship you a million miles away. "

"Diego, stop talking."

"That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you! " really, that actually happened?

I yawned into my hand, getting bored of just standing and listening in the outdoors with cold pouring rain, this once entertaining bickering became nothing more but a dreadful-childish fight. "Tired, darling?" Five whispered to me as he squeezed my hand, my face heated up just by the sound of his voice, I looked to my feet,

"A little bit." I whispered back, I saw from the corner of my eye how he simply nodded in understanding.

I then looked up again, only to see that Luther and Diego were going at one another, throwing punches, "Boys, stop this at once!" Pogo hollered, everyone backed away, Klaus shielded us with his arm instinctively before Five had smacked it away. I quietly laughed at their interaction, so cute.