"I remain the king" Billy x Steve (stranger things)

Ch 31

Steve POV
I stopped, my heart was pounding and I wanted to flee. I wanted to run to my car and drive away like I had planned. But then I heard his voice call out to me and it was like relief flooded through me. But also didn't want to hear him. I didn't want to see the look on his face. I couldn't. I knew what I wanted but I couldn't have it. It just wasn't meant to be. I knew that.

So now I stood in the top of the hill with my back to him. I could hear his heavy breathing from behind me and I'm so thankful he didn't take a step towards me. I sighed and kept my head away from him.

"Steve..." He mumbled, I could hear that he was out of breath. I should've ran.

"Goodbye billy" I whispered not expecting him to of heard.

"No! No, you don't get to do that! I refuse to let you walk out on me!" He yelled, not in anger but frustration. I sighed and allowed him to speak. I was listening to my brain rather than my heart but that was okay.

"Steve, just let me talk to you." He said. I refused to answer so I stood silent. A couple minutes of silence. The air was thick and heavy and no words had been spoken. I couldn't bring myself to speak but I needed something like closure. Maybe seeing his face for the last time would make me wanna leave. Maybe he magically got ugly and I could face him without wanting to run back.

I built up the courage finally after having an internal battle. I turned around and faced him and the second I did that I wished I hadn't. He was even more beautiful than I thought. He was standing there in his jeans and a white tank top, slightly panting and looking down. His hair was ragged and definitely a mess, I think this was the messiest he's ever had his hair. He had his hands in his pockets and he was looking down like he was trying to think of something to say. But he couldn't. And it broke my heart to see him like this but I couldn't muster up the strength to say something.

I was about to them back around before I heard him sniffle.

"I saw a suitcase in your car..." My heart clenched at the words. He sounded so hurt. I nodded even though he wasn't looking at me. I stuffed my hands in my pockets to protect me from the cold. I glanced over at him to see him now looking back at me. I felt like I could barely breath as we made eye contact. His eyes were puffy and he looked like he had given up. His hair had slightly come down and covered his eyes a little but I could still see his light blue eyes. They were staring into my soul and I was now captivated in his eyes.

"Steve" He whispered, taking a step towards me. I backed away and he stopped while watching me carefully. I just shook my head at him not able to form any words. He seemed to of gotten the message as he stopped and stood up straighter again. We stared at each other for awhile before he finally took a deep breath.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. I never meant to..hurt you the way I did and I know we aren't dating anymore..but goddamnit Steve-" he cut himself off with a laugh. A genuine laugh..

"You have fucked up my brain..the day that I broke up with you. That day that I know I hurt you forever was the worst day for me-"

"Worst day for you?" I spoke, finally finding the power to raise my voice at him. He didn't have a right to say that was the worst day for him.

"Worst day for you!" I said again slightly making a step towards him. Now seeing how he backed away from me. Not with fear but realization at what he had said.

"Bully k thought you used me! I thought you only wanted to fulfill your sexual fantasies! I thought I meant nothing to you! After you left me with no explanation, huh? How does that make you feel!? Knowing that you left me feeling useless and used!" I yelled as I took another few steps toward him and ended up standing directly infront of him. I watched as his face fell and he could barely look me in the eyes anymore.

"I didn't know you felt that way..." He mumbled..still not able to look at me. I scoffed and shoved him backwards as he landed in the ground. He looked up with a shocked expression.

"Billy I don't care how many times you apologize or you tell me you didn't mean to do that. You still did it..WHY! Why did you do that!? Huh? What was it? We're you ashamed of me!" I watched as he looked down again and I scoffed watching as he struggled to find the right words. I turned around and I was about to stomp down the hill.

"It was my dad"

I stopped, feeling like a complete ass. I turned back around and I saw he was still on the ground but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking down.

"He found out about our relationship...told me I was a faggot. He told me that until I stopped seeing you he wouldn't stop..." It was like he couldn't speak. The word stopped flowing off of his tongue and all he could do was sit there and suffer in silence.

"He wouldn't stop what Billy?" I asked lightly trying not to raise my voice.

"He wouldn't stop hitting me...kicking me...shoving me against a wall until my back was hurting so bad I could barely stand. He wouldn't stop almost breaking my ribs... "

I was surprised when sadness and sorrow filled me instead of anger. I wanted so bad to be angry at Billy's dad but all I could focus on was Billy sitting in the hill ground staring up at the sky. I shook my head and watched him.

"Billy.." I started but he cut me off.

"I was selfish and I wanted to protect myself and I didn't even think about the consequences of what would happen. I didn't think you would feel so...terrible. Because the truth is Steve..I did care about you. I did love you. No, sorry that wasn't the right word" He barely even laughed after that sentence but it still made me smile.

"I still love you Steve"