Between Us and These Bones

15

The panic attack I had knocked me out for the next 24 hours. I ended up in the same room Carson stayed in because I kept trying to tear my hair out in episodes of stress and panic. I slept on and off, sweating out of my own bones, flinching at every sound.

Fun times.

I curled into a ball, head pounding, with the covers pulled up over my head to block out the afternoon sun. I had no clue what time it was nor did I care.

Matthew knocked on the door, peaking in through the crack Carson had left open. I peaked overtop the blankets, glancing at the time.  10:07 a.m. I didn't know where my oldest brother had disappeared to, but he let me sleep in so it was all good. 

"Matty, leave me alone," I mumbled, pulling the blankets over my head.

"Come downstairs, breakfast is ready." Matthew wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to go. Carson, where the hell are you?

"Tarryn, you need to eat with your meds."

I ignored him.

"Tarryn -"

"Go away."

"You need to eat breakfast."

"Bring me breakfast in bed and I'll eat."

My brother scoffed. "Do I look like your slave?"

"I'm not coming downstairs."

"Why?"

"Does it matter? I said I'm not going downstairs. Let it go," I grumbled, his persistence annoying me. I bet I annoyed him too, but I didn't care.

Matthew didn't say anything else but I heard his footsteps thumping down the hall. Probably on his way to bitch about me to Carson.

I rolled towards the window, seeing rain droplets slide down. Gilbert snuggled close to me, purring. 

***

I snuck around the house, trying to find my grandfather. Never believed I would say that, after my parents told me they passed years ago.

"Tarryn." Carson strolled down the hallway, just as I reached the library doors. He stopped in front of me, holding my medication in one hand and a plate of scrambled eggs and toast. "You need to take these and eat. Why didn't you come find me?" He tilted his head partially and waited for me to take the plate.

"I forgot. Sorry-"

"You know you can't forget these," he said, firm and a bit annoyed.

I took the plate and shrugged. "Thanks."

Carson sighed and opened the door for me. "We need to talk," he said following me inside. Ivan wasn't in sight. I ignored my brother, pissed off with him and the rest of my siblings. They were keeping things from me and they knew I hated secrecy. "Tarryn, I'll answer anything you want to know right now but to be honest, I don't know much either."

"Did you know about Skyler being best friends with an FBI agent?"

Carson shook his head. "No, I didn't. Only Dad and Skyler knew. Well, probably mom and Jed too."

"Why are the FBI involved with our family? Is it because of the Paul Kessler case?"

"No, it's more complex than that."

"Explain."

"Mom and dad were apart of a gang," my brother said, "before June and I were born. Since high school. I don't know much more about their involvement than you do."