ShiVi - Redemption

Chapter 22

Hello all, here's a new chapter! This was written in such a rush, so it's not up to the mark as I might have wanted it to be, so please bear with me!
Chapter 22

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Shiva Pandya was seen promptly outside Hardik Bhai's house at 9.55 am, standing leaning onto his bike, deep in thought. He had five minutes before a certain Chipkali would show up outside and render him speechless like she always did with her mere presence. He hoped he would be able to express all that he had practiced and thought over last night.

Just as he thought of going through everything one more time, he heard the creaking noise of the door behind him and there she was, looking radiant as ever. She looked like she had come out in deep thought too, but seeing him her eyes widened for a second before she masked it with a small smile she gave. He smiled back saying, "Good morning Raavi, chaley?"

She nodded in agreement, climbed onto the bike after him, and asked curiously, "Waise hum jaa kahan rahe hai? ". 

He smiled and said, "pata chal jaayega thodi der main" starting the bike and riding off. Throughout the journey, they both didn't say a word to each other, but Shiva kept glancing at her through the rearview mirror as she kept fidgeting, clearly, the uncertainty of the destination was bothering her. They had gone long ahead after passing through Somnath ki galiyaan and now where approaching a lot more greenery around them.

After a few minutes of driving further, Shiva stopped the bike at a particular spot. The place looked so peaceful filled with lush green trees and plants. He asked her to follow him and stopped by a particular tree and to Raavi's surprise, he climbed on it and offered her his hand to follow suit. She hesitated for a second before stepping up and climbing with his help. Now they were finally settled on one of the sturdy branches beside each other, their legs hanging by. She didn't utter a word when he didn't say anything for a minute. He smiled at how understanding she was, how she hadn't pushed for an answer from him though he was sure, her mind was filled with many questions.

Breaking the silence that held them, he said "Main yahan aata hoon, jab bhi mujhe gussa aata hai, jab bhi mujhe dard hota hai, jab bhi meri dil mein koi pareshaani hoti hai, main yahan iss ped ke paas aata hoon, aur baithke sochta hoon, apne mann ki baaton ko samajhne ki koshish karta hoon, jo bhi mann mein hai sab kehta hoon. Tujhe pata hai, jab maine mandir ke saaamne humaara rishta khatam kiya tha, tab yahan aaya tha, jab maine tujhe divorce papers sign karne pe majboor kiya tha, tab bhi main yahan aaya tha, logon se apne dil ki baat kehne ki aur apne dil ka dard baatne ki aadat nahi hai na? Par main ab aise jeena nahi chahta Raavi, main apne mann ki baaton ko aur dabaake rakhna nahi chahta, kyun ki humaare beech jo bhi kuch hua woh kahin na kahin mere apne dil ki baat na kehne ki, na samjhane ke wajah se hua" looking at her, while she looked back at him with the utmost care and concern.

"Maine bachpan se leke aaj tak apne pariwar ke aage na kuch dekha na kuch socha, mujhe humesha unhone protect karne ki aadat hai, mujhe toh humesha aisa lagta hai ki main sab ke saamne chattan ban ke khade rahoon taaki kisi aur ko koi takleef na ho, ya kisi aur ko dard na mile, jab bhi main Maa, Dhara Bhabhi, gaumbi, baaki sab ko, takleef mein dekhta hoon na, toh mujhe sabse zyaada dard hota hai, aur jin hone bhi meri pariwaalon ko thes pauncha ne ki koshish ki unke upar uthna hi gussa bhi aata, jis ke karan main kuch bhi seedha nahi soch pata hoon, Uss din jab maine dekha ki Anita ne Dhara Bhabhi ki maa banne ka sapna cheena, meri toh duniya hi bikar gayi, kyun ki yeh baat tu bhi jaanti hai ki hum teen bhai ke wajah se unhone apna khud ka baccha na paida karne ka faisla liya tha, maanta hoon ki woh unka apna faisla tha, par jab bhi mujhe woh yaad aata hai na, toh dil mein chuban hoti hai, ki kahin na kahin meri wajah se unko aaj tak dard sehna padega, aur uss din bhi waisa hi hua, maine gusse mein aake tujhpe behremi se ilzaam lagaya, aur main shayad hi khud ko uske liye kabhi maaf kar paaon, uss waqt bhi maine teri baat nahi suni, agar maine suni hoti toh aaj hum aise nahi hoti" he said wiping a tear that had escaped from his eye.

Trying his best to hold it together he said, "Iss liye maine faisla liya hai, ki aaj main tujhe woh sab kuch kehna chahta hoon, jo mujhe pehle hi keh dena chahiye tha, shuruwat se shuru karte hai"
He cleared his throat in an attempt not to sound croaky from all the crying, "Teri aur meri shaadi hui, main tujhse nafrat karta tha aur tu bhi, Mujhe iss baad ki chid thi ki tu Maami ki Behen ki Beti hai, Pann dheere dheere teri niyat, teri masoomiyat, sab dikhne lag gaya mujhe, kaise tu sab ka dhyaan rakhti thi ghar mein, kaise tu mujhse jitna bhi ladle, meri fikr karti thi, tu humesha se acchi thi Raavi, pann woh Raavi mujhe dheere dheere haveli mein dikh lag gayi, aur phir tu mujhe pasand aane lagi thi Raavi, pann teri dost Sneha ne mujhe khud ek aaine ke saamne khada kar diya, ki main kabhi tere laaikh ban hi nahi paaonga, main teri choice kabhi nahi rahoonga, aur phir maine faisla kiya ki main tujhe azaad kar doonga, maanta hoon ki main gadheda tha, jo maine itna bada faisla liya, tujhse baat karne ke bajai maine divorce maanga, woh meri life ki sabse badi galtiyon mein se ek hai, agar phir kabhi aise halaath aaye toh main promise karta hoon, ki main tujhe kabhi nahi chodunga, tu kahe toh bhi nahi, toh yeh mera pehla promise hai tujhse, ki main Shiva Pandya khud apni marzi se tujhse bina pooche bina kahe kabhi bhaagke nahi jaaonga, main har halaath mein tere saath rahoonga, chahe jitna bhi mushkil ho, main peeche nahi hatoonga". He reached out and held her hand in both his palms, indicating a promise of a lifetime while she looked tear eyed.

Not wanting to stop there he continued, "Phir humaare divorce proceedings hone ke baad bhi tu Dhara Bhabhi ke liye ghar wapas aayi, tu kis mitti ki bani hai Raavi, maine toh itni baar socha ki tujhse aake maafi maang loon, tujhse bol doon ki I am sorry, mujhe tere character pe sawaal nahi uthaana chahiye tha, main galat tha, par meri zidd mujhe yeh bolne hi nahi de raha tha, kyun ki mujhe pata tha agar main maafi maanglu, toh tu sab bhulakar mujhe maaf kar degi, iss liye maine kuch nahi bola, par mujhe tujhse kehna tha ki Raavi tu Dhara Bhabhi ke liye wapas toh aa gayi, ab please mere liye bhi wapas aa jaa, main apni zindagi tere bina soch hi nahi sakta, ki mujhe yeh divorce nahi chahiye" tearfully looking at her desparately while she sniffled remembering that time.

"Uske baad Maa leke aayi Disha ko, mujhe toh kisi aur se shaadi karne main koi interest nahi tha, aur na hi rahega, maine baar baar Maa aur Disha ko samjhaaya bhi par woh sune hi nahi, meri wajah se tujhe kitni takleef hui hogi uss time, aur woh jo main suit pehenke aaya tha aur tujhe laga ki maine Disha ke liye pehena tha, woh sab tere liye hi tha, mujhe laga agar main gentleman type ban jaaon toh tu mere saath khush reh paayegi, par sab kuch bigad gaya, par Bholenath ki kripa se, sirf aur sirf teri wajah se humaari sagai hui, mujhe toh yakeen hi nahi hua, aur itna khush main kabhi na tha, jitna uss din tha, sab kuch itna sahi jaa raha tha, hum dono dheere dheere se ek doosre ki taraf kadam badane lag gaye the, sab kuch mere liye itna khoobsurat lagne laga tha" smiling remembering how ecstatic he was and then his face turned stoic as he said,

"Pann uske baad kiya Anita aur Mami ne kaand, aur woh divorce ke papers dekh ke mera dil toot sa gaya, mujhe aisa laga jaise meri duniya hi khatam ho gayi, jaise meri zindagi ke sabse khaas insaan ne mere dil ko choor choor kar ke phek diya, aur maine woh saara gussa bina soche samjhe tujhpe nikaal, maine kabhi bhi aisa kuch mehsoos nahi kiya tha Raavi, aur main unn jazbaat ko samajh aur sambhal hi nahi paaya, isse pehle aisa kabhi hua nahi na, jab woh divorce papers ko dekha toh mujhse apne jazbaat control nahi ho paaye, aise laga ki sab kuch jala doon, aur khud ko bhi" clenching his fists trying to control his overwhelming emotions.

"Main jaanta hoon ki iss baar maine saare haddein paar kar li, par yeh sab tujhse kehna zaroori tha, ki abhi main apne gusse ko kaabu karne koshish karne laga hoon, main tere liye aur humaare liye woh sab kuch karna chahta hoon jo tere liye sahi ho, mujhe pata hai ki tu apne padhai pe dhyaan dena chahti hai, aur tujhe apni life mein kuch banna hai, aur main tujhe kabhi nahi rokunga, kyun ki Raavi tu mere liye important hai, aur main tujhe humesha khush dekhna chahta hoon, aur uske liye main kuch bhi karoonga, tujhe pata hai meri berang zindagi mein tune rang bhar diye Raavi, mujh mein jo aag hai, uske liye jo behte hue paani ki thandak ki zaroorat hai woh tu hai Raavi, mujhe pehle lagta tha ki hum dono ek doosre ke liye banne hi nahi, pann ab mujhe lagne laga hai ki yeh mel Bholenath ne iss liye likha tha ki tu meri zindagi mein aaye aur uske sawaar le, taaki main tere liye woh sab kuch karoon jo tu deserve karti hai, pann kya tu mujhe yeh sab karne ka mauka de paayegi? Main jaanta hoon yeh koi aasaan sawaal nahi hai iss liye tujhe jo kehna hai tu sochke apna time leke keh sakti hai, main tujhe force nahi karoonga, iss baar sab kuch tere hisaab se hoga" saying this on a wiser note.

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What do you guys think of Shiva's speech? Should he say "I love you" already? I wasn't sure if he should say it blatantly right now. Also, how do you guys think Raavi will react?