Indra

five | indra

five | INDRA
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B E A U M O N E T

It's been about a week since I've been at the lake and the last time I saw her.

The breezy wind strikes my body, shivers are sent straight to my spine. I tighten my grip on the ends of my jacket to raise the temperature. My feet are dangling off the bolted dock as I lift my head to look up at the gray sky. I subtly watch the clouds move as it desires. I always found the gray skies so fascinating, something about the clouds looks like a great mystery.

Everything was silent, only me and the little marine animals in the lake are here alone.

I hum, focusing on the water under my feet. I left my earphones at home when I left the apartment to find a job. A job which is very difficult to find. After I leave this lake, I'm taking a train to go find a dinner to work at. They have a waiter position open, and I hope I get the job.

I lean back slightly, shoving my hand into my front pocket. I quickly find my cigarette pack, open the top, and grab a cigarette. I dig my hand into my puffy black jacket, grabbing my lighter. I flick off the top, pressing my thumb on the sparkwheel. The orange and red flames spark at the top of the lighter, indicating it was working. I move the lighter to the end of the tobacco rod and watch as white smoke comes out of it. I remove my hand from the sparkwheel and flick the lighter's top back on. I bring my lips to the other end of the cigarette, inhaling softly. The white smoke instantly comes out of my mouth as I remove the cigarette from my lips. The puff of smoke moves with the cold air as I take another inhale of the cigarette. I place my lighter and cigarette pack in the pocket of my puffy jacket, continuing to watch the river flow with the wind.

Living in this life, I realized life moves so fucking fast. Not that I'm complaining. I want it to move fast, so fast to the point where I don't have to feel the guilt that constantly haunts me every single day.

Soft footsteps interrupt my thoughts, causing me to look over my shoulder. I see the same girl that I spot at the grocery store, also at the lake and the vinyl shop. I feel like she follows me everywhere.

What am I thinking? I'm not that interesting.

Her scorched and wavy, chestnut hair was slicked up into a high ponytail, and a few extra strands of her hair escaped the well-packed hair onto her face. She furrows her eyebrows before quickly wiping them away in disgust like the strands were poisonous to her skin. A small smile plasters on her face, two dimples emerging on both of her cheeks. Earbuds in her ear, the wires rest on her chest. My eyes are instantly drawn to her alluring hazel eyes. The deep hues in her eyes shot hypnosis draggers into my eyes, imprisoning them to stare into her eyes forever. But her footsteps that were inching closer breaks the hypnosis in my body.

"I see you're here again?" I mumble, focusing my attention on the lake in front of me. She hums lightly, agreeing with my statement. Since she's here, I might as well start a conversation with her. "Do you come here every day?"

"I try to, but sometimes I don't have time." Her soft voice replies. I turn my head to the side as she sits crossed-legged on the dock, not too close to me, but close enough for my nostrils to notice her strong vanilla scent.

I hum, running my fingers through my short hair. We didn't talk for the next thirty minutes. I glanced at her once in a while, to still see a small smile on her face. I like her smile, maybe because she has dimples.

My phone vibrates in my jacket pocket, a quiet groan slips out of my mouth. I slide my hand into my pocket and grab the device.

"What?" I whisper, pressing the phone on my ear.

"Why are you whispering?" Zion whispers back, and I roll my eyes.

"What do you need?" I say, ignoring his question.

"Nothing, I just want to talk to my friend." He replies, "Can I not call my friend to see how they're doing."

"We just saw each other a couple of hours ago." I groan, looking over at the girl sitting next to me. Her head was bobbing up and down, not showing any signs that she was listening to me talking.

"And? I still want to talk to my friend."

"I'm hanging up now." I tell him, getting tired of this random conversation.

"Wait-" He tries to say something, but I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. I immediately get a text right after from Zion stating, "This is the kind of treatment I get when I'm being a good friend." I sigh, sliding my phone back into my black jacket.

A random idea pops inside my head, maybe I should go to a gift shop and buy random stuff from there. I always loved collecting stuff, whether it was CDs or vinyl. I would always enjoy saving stuff. Zion complains about it taking up much room, but I simply just ignore him because it is something I enjoy.

When I was a kid, my grandmother told me stories about my mother, her daughter, and how she used to carry her polaroid camera everywhere and collect small things that mean the world to her.

Hearing stories about her come from my grandmother made me smile but also made me sad, knowing that I'll never get to meet the woman who died giving birth to me.

I always notice the sadness in my grandmother's eyes whenever she tells me stories about my mother, and it always makes me feel guilty. I took her daughter away. I'm the reason why she won't get to see her daughter again. I'm the reason why my dad hates me. I'm the reason why my mother isn't breathing on this earth. I'm the reason for it all. And I have to live with that guilt until I take my last breath on this earth.

"Dude." A soft girl's voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn my head to face her. Her attention was already on me by the time I did, worriedness written all over her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, why are you asking?" I mutter, knowing I'm definitely not okay. I rest my hand with the cigarette between my fore and index finger on the edge of my knee as she furrows her eyebrows, not believing my reply.

"I've been trying to get your attention." She replies, wrapping her fingers with the wired earphones. "I don't like sitting in awkward silence so I asked what's your favorite song."

I hum, "Hard question." She nods, agreeing with my statement. I pause, thinking about her question for a while. "Maybe Mardy Bum by Arctic Monkeys."

"Dude, that's my favorite too." She smiles, shoving her earbuds in her pockets. "The beats, in the beginning, are perfect..." With every word she utters, her face gleams with such radiance that Boston's skylines will envy the light she is illuminating, and I just consume every word that escapes her mouth.

She takes a deep breath from her fast talking which allows me to ask her a question I've been wanting to ask, "So, What's your name?"

"Hm?" She hums, curving her eyebrows together.

"Your name?" I pause, "You know, A name that people call you by."

She rolls her eyes, a small curve at the end of her lips. "Indra"

Indra.

Such a beautiful name.

Indra.

I look down at my feet dangling over the dock, repeating her beautiful name in my mind. One side of my lips curves a little, forming a smirk. "What's your name?" She asks.

"Beau." I state, turning my head back to face her.

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I lowkey wanted to post this chapter yesterday, but i ended up watching Bridgerton for the 100th time. Kate and Anthony>>>

anyways have a great day/night and stay safe. <3.