Indra

twenty-two | liar

twenty-two |  LIAR
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B E A U    M O N E   T

Indra's sweet, sweet tears continued to travel down her face onto the soft fabric of the t-shirt I had on throughout the night. And from those loud cries that crawl away from her mouth, I could tell she's held on to those emotions for a very, very long time. But it's not surprising to me, I knew the moment I first met her.

People walk past me every single day and those same people, whether they are smiling, laughing, frowning, or displaying any human emotion on their faces, are all dealing with something, no matter how small or how big.

And then you start to think, no person is 100% happy. Only 99%, 50%, 45%, 10%, or even 1% are happy.

And that remaining number that is keeping them from being 100% happy is what holding them back and it's holding them back because it's the only thing they feel, that void that imprisons their heart from bliss, that sadness that's playing tug and war with their hands, keeping them from reaching that goal of a full-time life of joy, the gloominess that ignites internal flames within their bodies to the point where the water of happiness cannot soothe them.

And only those who express their feelings and feel comfortable doing so will maybe reach the point where they feel comfortable where they are, no matter how happy or sad.

For others, however, that emptiness, that sadness, will fester, and it will cause great damage until their hearts sink into an abyss of despair.

Maybe that's why I still feel that void in my heart.

Because I've sunken into that hole, a hole where there is nothing but sadness.

But, I won't let Indra do so too. Therefore, I have to create a safe space for her to express her feelings so she doesn't have to sink into the deep end like I already have.

Our eyes are still connected after the soft statement I just uttered. My thumbs move to her cheek to wipe the tear falling down her cheek, just like the way I want to wipe out all the pain she has been suffering from. Then my hand travels to the back of her head and lightly nudges her head to rest on my shoulder, my mouth near her ear. My free hand guides her arm around my neck and the other one, so we could fully embrace each other.

There's something so powerful about a hug, like one of those emotional hugs. Arms are not just attached to the other person's body, but they are anchored to their soul, calming them into a safe place, a place where they can express themselves without using their mouths but told by the hands and arms of the body.

"You don't have to tell me what's going on, okay?" I whisper softly, moving my fingers to brush her hair with them. "You could tell me when you feel comfortable enough." She takes a long deep breath before nodding. "But, we could hug it out until you feel better, as long as you want and whenever you want, even after this because I'm not going anywhere, even if you don't want me to be in your life." I breathe in the hopeless air, "And I'll be here when you need something, when you need to smile, to laugh, when you need a hug, a kiss, a buddy to make a playlist with, whatever there is you need, I'll be here."

Indra pulls her head slightly off my shoulder and smiles at me. A genuine smile. Not a fake one. And that smile itself makes the world place a foot on its brakes and stops just to capture the wonderful curves of her lips, makes fires stop burning any surface that it was swallowing just to be consumed by the smile right in front of my eyes, and even makes the greek god of the sun, Helios, jealous of the amount of energy released from her smile alone.

"You don't know how much that whole short speech made me feel." She whispers, drifting her head back into my shoulder. "I haven't had many people stay when needed."