The Best Thing

Summer Time

The four of us decided on a beach house for a week instead of a road trip to start off summer. One of Kallan's mom's friends owns a time share in Cape Cod and they are renting it out to us for dirt cheap.

I finished my last final an hour ago and all of this semesters stress and anxiety went right out the window the second I did. I'm back at my dorm packing for our trip, we leave early tomorrow morning and I haven't had a second to pack.

Things between Greyson and I haven't been the same since he got arrested. I'm trying so hard with him, but he doesn't seem to be putting in the same work and I keep telling myself he just needs time. I won't give up on us, even if he does.

I've seen Asher around campus a few times but we haven't spoken. Kallan says he is trying to get back on the team and stopped drinking and partying. I was happy to hear that he might be working on bettering himself finally and I think this will be a good change of pace for him.

I have light music on in the background as I go through my closet and drawers trying to pack. Lo keeps texting me because she's having a hard time as well, I figure we'll live in our bathing suits most of the time plus lounge clothes and a couple dresses if we decide to go out.

There's a knock at the door and I go over to answer, "Hey Grey" I say and he remains neutral.

"Can we talk Say?" My heart drops, and by the pained look on his face I can see that I have every right to worry.

"Sure, come in" I step aside and he comes in, I shut the door behind him as he takes a seat on the edge of my bed.

I stand, facing him unsure what to do or say. Before he speaks he runs a hand through his disheveled hair "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... about everything that's happened this year and hockey, etc. it's been hard on all of us. After what happened with Asher and I, then getting arrested it felt like a wake up a call. I need to just step away for a little and focus on myself, I'm not going to the beach house" my heart sinks.

"Greyson I..." he stops me, he stands and walks over.

"If I don't get this out, I don't think I'll ever be able to Say... I love you, God do I love you more than anything. You're the first girl I've ever truly fallen for and it's been amazing. But right now, I need to focus and figure some things out, without you. I...I can't do this Saylor and I'm sorry" tears stream down my cheeks.

"I...I don't even know what to say. I love you and I'm sorry for everything that's happened. I don't want this to be it for us, but I know I can't change your already made up mind. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for Grey" tears stream down his cheeks.

He leans in and kisses my forehead as I stand frozen in place like my heart didn't just shatter into a million pieces. He pulls away then goes to the door and I stand there staring at my bed in shock. He reaches for the handle, and hesitates. I hear him let out a breath like he might say something but doesn't. He opens the door and walks out of my room and my life just like that.

I collapse to my knees and fall into pieces on the fall. My heart races and my breathing becomes rapid. They say not to place your happiness on something that can disappear and man oh man are they right. My happiness and joy just ripped my heart out of my chest and then walked away with it.

I've felt so many different kinds of hurt and pain in my life but nothing compares to losing the only person that I truly love. This right here, this agonizing life changing hurt that resides deep inside of me this is what destroys peoples and reminds you that you'll never feel whole again.

I muffle my sobs my screaming into one of my pillows as I hold it close to my chest. I look over and see my phone buzzing, but I'm weak to care about it. I remain seated on the floor for God knows how long, it isn't until a loud knock on my door pulls me out of the dark hole I was going down.