The Best Thing

Broken Pieces

Fey wakes me up the next morning by climbing on top of me and bouncing "Wake up mama!" Needless to say I was up.

"I'm up princess" I hold onto her and roll off the couch carrying her into the kitchen "Pancakes?" She nods as I grab a sip cup and pour some milk in it for her.

I set her down to watch Lion King and play with her dolls, while I start making breakfast. I focus on my task, cracking eggs, adding mix and milk to keep my thoughts away from what happened last night. A wave of nausea takes over and I run down the hall into Fey's bathroom and throw up. There's nothing inside of me to let out, so I gag and choke until the feeling goes away.

I splash water on my face and rinse my mouth. When I'm done I turn to see a concerned Asher standing in the doorway "Are you okay Say?" I push past him, not giving him an answer.

I head into the kitchen to continue making breakfast and Asher follows me hot on my heel "Say please talk to me" he stands, leaning against the counter.

"I have nothing to say" I don't bother to look up at him as I feel his eyes burning through the side of my face.

He lets out a sigh "I'm sorry Saylor I know that I fucked up and I should have told you from the begin beginning. I never meant to hurt you, fuck... I love you so much and I don't want to throw this all away. I know it'll take time for us to get to a better place but I want to try" he walks over and grabs my arm, spinning me around to face him.

I can't even look him in the eyes "I don't know" is all I say.

He tilts my chin up with his finger "I love you Saylor and I know that I fuck a lot of things up in my life and hurting is and always will be my biggest regret. But I refuse to give up on us, I will fight and do whatever it takes because I'm so fucking in love with you and have been for what? Five or six years now. Just please don't give up on us...on me"

A tear falls down my cheek "I'm....I'm pregnant" my lips tremble as the words fall off them.

He pulls his hand away and his eyes widen in shock "What? You're... pregnant?" I nod.

"I'm only like ten weeks along but I am" he smiles.

"That's amazing... I... are you happy about it?" His voice is gentle and soft like he's being cautious.

"I am.. but after what happened I just, I don't know" he holds my face in his hands, and our eyes meet.

"Don't let my mistake ruin your happiness for this amazing blessing Saylor. This is the best new, and we will make this work"

"I love you Ash which is why this hurts so much. I feel like I don't even know you or I just... It hurts to look at you" he steps away in understanding.

"I'll give you space" he goes over and sits with Fey.

I continue making our food and when it's ready he puts her in her high chair and I set a plate down in front of her. She dives in devouring her eggs and bacon first. I make Asher and I a plate and we sit at the table near her and eat in a comfortable, yet slightly awkward silence.

I lose my appetite half way through and throw the rest of it away. I wash the dishes and put everything away and grab Fey so she can shower with me. She loves showering, we usually have a little dance party and she writes on the glass doors with her fingers. I squat down to her level "Princess, you're going to be a big sister" her eyes widen with joy.

"No way! I'm having a baby?!" She squeals out.

I laugh "Yes, we're having another baby" she throws her small arms around my neck and hugs me tight.