The Best Thing

The Play Date

The next morning I wake up feeling like a kid on Christmas. I make my bed, then go to the gym down stairs and get a good work out in. Once I'm finished I shower and get ready for the day, I do some light cleaning and run a load of laundry as I wait for Asher to drop off Fey.

Around eleven there's a knock at the door and I rush over to check "Mama!" She squeals and jumps into my arms.

"How's my princess?" I ask and kiss her cheek.

"Good good! I missed you" she wiggles out of my arms and run for her toys.

Asher's standing there with a neutral expression "She says she has a play date today with some boy from school named Jack?"  

I lean on the door frame "Yeah in an hour, he's a sweet kid" he nods.

"How are you?" I see the sadness in his eyes.

"I'm good, you?"

"Good, I miss you" I sigh.

"We're not doing this Asher...." He takes a step toward me but I back away.

"This is what we've come to? After everything?" His tone sounds more angry now.

"This is a conversation for another time" I look at him sternly and he gets the idea and backs up.

"Okay, sorry. I'll come get her Tuesday night" I nod and close the door.

My heart crumbles inside, I hate it just as much as he does. I don't want to feel this way, or act like this around him but the second I change he thinks we're getting back together and that's not happening. This last year I worked so hard on myself after the baby and his cheating, I refuse to take ten steps back.

Plus I've seen the playboy he's become and although a lot of that stems from our break up and him dealing with the loss of the baby, I know he hasn't had any growth. He would rather party and sleep with random girls then work on the core issues he has. I can't force him too and I sure as hell won't let him drag me down with him, not when I have Fey to think about.

Luckily he's responsible and good with her or else I wouldn't let him keep her over night. I want Asher to find happiness with himself and with someone else. I hate that it's not with me, and a part of me wished it could have been. But so much has happened and my feelings just aren't the same and they haven't been for a while now. I can't force myself to love him.

"Are you hungry little mama?" I ask and head to the kitchen to see what I can make her.

"Yes please, can I have a pb&j?"

"Pb&j coming right up princess!"

I make us each one with a fruit salad and carrot sticks. She its at the table with me as we both eat. I stare at her blue eyes and notice how dark her hair is starting to get. She was so blonde when she was little and now that she's getting bigger it's turning into my color. I've been noticing more and more as she's growing, how much she's really starting to look like me.

We finish our lunch and then I get her all cleaned up. I put her coat on, and slide into my shoes as we head out the door. I buckle her into her carseat and send a text to Cassius letting him know that we are on our way. She begs me to play Justin Bier so we both sing our hearts out the whole drive.

I pull up to the park and find a spot right up front, which is so rare especially on a Saturday. I get out and unfasten her seat belt and set her on the side walk, I grab my purse and her water cup. She holds me hand as we walk over to the playground and instantly I spot that tall brunette and his piercing blue eyes as he pushes Jack on the swings.