The Best Thing

Due Date

The day finally comes... my due date. Four months passed by so slow, mourning Greyson. I miss him every single day. I took time off school and eventually went back, but because I was so behind I've spent the last few months catching up.

Asher has been extremely helpful in creating an area for her in my room. He and Matt built the crib and changing table. My mom reached out to check in on me and the baby. My father hasn't said a peep; luckily they haven't cut me off yet. If they did I would get a job and make it all work...somehow.

I went into labor at 9pm last night and gave birth at 7 am this morning. Ten hours of labor, of pushing and screaming. I was praying and wishing for Greyson to be the one coaching me and holding my hand. Instead it was Asher and Lo in the room with me, guiding me every step of the way until I finally heard her cry out; I wept in exhaustion and happiness.

The nurse cleaned her up and I laid there, listening to her faint cries. Tears streamed down my cheeks as Lo held my hand with a smile on her face "You did it mama" she says.

They weight her, bathe her and take all of her measurements, then the nurse finally brings her over and hands me the most beautiful bundle of joy snd warmth. She opens her big deep, blue eyes staring up at me, and her crying stops. She wraps her tiny hand around my finger and my heart just about explodes.

She's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Asher comes to my side with the birth certificate and it's time to finally decide on a name. He and I never went over any of them, he said I can choose from the ones Greyson and I thought of. I stare at her, trying to see if one just comes to me and it does.

"Feyre" is all I say and Asher's eyes light up.

"Beautiful" he whispers as he stares down at her in complete awe.

He fills everything out and then we both sign at the bottom. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth and maybe one day I will. I hold her for a while and the let Asher have his moment too. Matt and Kallan eventually come to visit and everyone falls in love with her immediately. After an hour or so the nurse comes in saying it's time to try and feed her. Anxiety immediately fills my stomach, because I know how important it is for her to latch.

She takes Fey from Matt's arms and brings her over, gently handing her to me and everyone leaves the room. I pull down my gown and the nurse walks me through exactly what to do. My hearts racing as she doesn't latch instantly but after a couple tries she does and all my worry seeps away.

I watch her completely mesmerized as she eats and perspective about my breasts change from being something sexual to nurturing. I run a finger through her light brown hair and soft cheeks, I can't believe we made this gorgeous little girl. None of this feels real and as I watch, I feel Greyson smiling down on both of us, congratulating me.

My heart is so full I feel like it's about to explode. A stray tears escapes me as I wish... I wish my mom was here to see this, her and me. I wish Greyson's mom was here but who knows what they'll think when they find out she is his. Fear rushes through me put I shove it aside and focus on all of the good.

Once she's finished eating, I gently burp her and let the nurse change her tiny diaper. My friends come back in the room as I rock her to sleep and watch as she slowly falls asleep in my arms. Asher takes her and places her in the basket, so my arms can get some rest.

"I love her so much already, it's crazy" he says proudly as he watches her stir in her sleep.

"Me too" I reach for his hand and squeeze "We did good, thank you for being there for us" he smiles.

"Always Saylor" and sadness creeps in, bringing me back to those times where Greyson said the same thing.

I force a smile and let go of his hand. I let out a sigh as Lo brings me some ice chips and water "How do you feel? Are you okay?" I sip on my water.