See You Later ~ Elizabeth Olsen

45 ~ Study Break

Y/N POV

~May~

Lizzie is officially not an understudy anymore. The play didn't last very long and I think it's because she wasn't starring in it. I got the chance to see her perform once and it was amazing. She's so mesmerizing and authentic and it just confirmed what I already know. She's going to be a star.

It's a little scary to think about. I find myself thinking about where I fit into all of this all the time. I've known since the beginning of our relationship that I don't really fit into the movie star world. I'm just a college student that is struggling to get by.

She's already starting her career and she hasn't even finished school yet. I just feel a little...small. I'm so proud of her and happy for her, but I feel out of place in her world.

When Rhonda approached me at the premier and told me about surprising Lizzie, I was a little surprised. I thought she would try to keep me away from Lizzie. She didn't really say anything explicitly but I can tell she wants Lizzie to hide our relationship. I don't want to be the person that ruins her chances at roles she really wants

We haven't really talked about it. I'm just going with the flow and enjoying my time with her. School is great and I get to hang out with Pam a lot since Lizzie is busy with auditions and her own classes. We get to see each other, it's not like I never see her, it's just different now. She's driven and focused and I love that about her. It just feels like I'm going to be left in the dust.

But I don't really mind it. I want her to reach her dreams even if I can't be in the picture. At this point I'm just waiting for her to realize that maybe she shouldn't be so focused on our relationship. I've accepted that we probably won't last after college. We are at different points in our careers and lives. I just want to enjoy the time I have with her right now.

I'm grateful I've thought about the future and the possibility that she won't be in mine. I hope she's thought about the possibility too. I mean she must know that it wouldn't be good for her to try to maintain a relationship while being busy starting her career. Right?

Anyway, I'm riding the train for as long as I can. I'll love her for as long as she wants me in her life and it will be enough.

School ends soon and I'm set to spend the summer with my niece. I'm excited because I get baby time but also money for school. I've been walking dogs but it's not a substantial income. Every time I mention the summer Lizzie gets a little weird though.

"Are you really going to Boston for the entire summer?" She asks as we study for our final exams.

"Yup." I confirm and she sighs. "What's wrong?" I ask as she avoids my gaze.

"I just thought you might want to stay with me for the summer?" She offers and my stomach flips at the offer.

"Oh, I just thought you'd be busy with auditions and stuff. I don't want to be a distraction or in the way or anything." I explain.

"Y/N, you aren't a burden to me. You're everything to me." She assures me, shifting her notebook out of her lap to each her hand to rest on my cheek. "You trust me, right?" She asks, worried eyes on me.

"Of course I do. We've built back what we lost and we're doing really well." I agree and she nods, but the worry doesn't leave. She's still in therapy for her stuff and we talk about it a lot. She's more like herself nowadays despite the slight anxiety every now and then. But I'm happy for her that she is sleeping through the night and doesn't even think about Russia. She's doing really well and we have a really solid relationship and I like it.

"What aren't you telling me, Y/N?" She asks and I frown in confusion.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You've been...distant?" She tries to explain.