Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
#% ILLIAD MOON <3 !!!
TWO DAYS LATER..
i pace back and forth in my room. my mind is totally bombarded with stupid consistent thoughts. i think about everything and anything i could possibly think about.
i think about hyunjin. i think about my letters. i think about the way he treated me. i think about our argument. i think about my path to forgiving him and my body trembles. i hate him i do but he tries so hard and it hurts my soul that i miss him.
i think about jaemin. i think about all of the memories that we made. i think about the places he touched me. i think about the love i felt from him. i think about the betrayal. i think about the coffee shop. i think about the ignoring calls.
i think about the media.
the media and the entire country hate me. all because of a skewed video in a cafe that once meant the most to me. it was jaemin and i's spot. now it is just his. i cant show my face there. my mom says that there has been reporters and sasaeng's outside everyday. they probably want an interview just so they can change my words and make me seem like the bad guy yet again.
i hate them. i cant even enjoy my time home because of them. stupid stupid people.
my eyes fill with tears and i fall backwards onto my bed. how could life be so sucky? why don't other people have to deal with stuff like this? why just me?
it's not fair to me.
i think whatever higher power there is, is playing me like a pawn in a game. they think it's funny to watch me do great and then struggle all over again. give me everything and then take it away before i can even enjoy a second of it. the cursed cycle of illiad moon.
my back is pressed up against my bed, my black hair flailed everywhere. a white comforter on my bed had broken my fall and now puffs up around my head.
i wear a pair of penguin pajama pants and an old hoodie that belonged to felix. i fix the hood so my hair is inside it before i pull the strings tight, tightening the hole so i can only see through a very small part of it.
my dark eyes stare at the ceiling as i think some more. i wish my brain would stop thinking, all of the thinking makes my head absolutely pound.
"hey" there's a knock on my door. my head tilts up but i can barely see over my boobs. "come in" i say, pushing my body up with my fabric covered arms. my mom walks in, my phone in her hand. i must have left it downstairs before i had come up into my room and started sulking.
