Fraggle Rock Short Stories

Zara's Illness Scribble

This part discusses serious and depressing matters...

Weeks passed and Mokey was having a difficult time coping with her daughter's death. She tried to put it out of her mind, try to keep everything going as normal as she could but that wasn't working. She would wake up in the middle of the night crying and sobbing, shaking, and gasping for air. Every time it happened, Boober was there in an instant, pulling her into his arms. But this time, Boober wasn't with her. She sat on the edge of the Fraggle pond, with her feet in the water. Her eyes were closed and tears leaked from them, rolling down her face. She let them fall onto her lap. "I'm so sorry, baby." The words had been said hundreds of times before. They always came out of her mouth like they were new ones. It never got easier saying those words but the guilt ate away at her every day. And now her daughter was gone. Gone forever. She felt sick every time she thought about it. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, looking around. No one seemed to be watching her. Even if someone did notice her crying, she felt like no one would even care. The pressure in her chest became extreme, her heart completely shattered. There was nothing left inside. Not anymore. This void where her heart used to be sucked all the oxygen out of the room leaving behind a stifling feeling of suffocation. All the emotions she bottled up came bubbling out like water from a broken dam. The feeling of utter desolation swept over her and it hit her like a boulder. It hurt and it broke her. How could something so precious have disappeared? How could something so beautiful turn to darkness? How? The tears just kept coming, not ceasing until she was curled up into a ball, clutching her knees tightly to her chest. Her breathing became ragged and hard. She couldn't catch her breath, no matter how much air she took in. Everything seemed distant like it didn't belong to her, like it wasn't real. The pain consumed her and she wanted it to stop. It only made things worse though because every single time she started to feel better, another tear or sob would fill up the space where her heart used to be. She hated herself. She felt like she had failed as a mother. She felt worthless, weak. Her body continued to shake violently despite her attempts to hold herself together. She was trying to hold it together, she really was, but it was getting harder by the second, and each time she tried it only became worse. She was so overwhelmed that she could barely stand up. When she finally opened her eyes again, everything was blurry like she was staring through fog. All the colors were blending together, creating a bright array of oranges, blues, reds, yellows, greens, purples, and whites that threatened to blind her if she looked directly at it. Her mind was littered with negative thoughts and she couldn't focus on anything but those thoughts. The world around her grew darker. A voice in her head screamed angrily at her, "It's all your fault! Zara is dead because of you!" Mokey covered her ears to block out the voice. No matter how hard she tried to not listen to the voice, the voice became louder. "You're a horrible mother! You will never be able to forgive yourself! You might as well end it now!" She knew what that voice meant. The voice was right. She should just end this miserable life of hers. She then jumped into the Fraggle pond, in an attempt to drown herself. She didn't want anyone to see her so pathetic and helpless. She wanted to die. If she died maybe the voices would leave her alone. Maybe the pain would go away. She stayed under the water for about a minute. Boober then walked near the pool and saw Mokey under the water. He was quick to pull her out. "Are you okay?" he asked. "No," she replied softly between sobs. "The voices won't stop and I can't get them out of my head!" He held her close, running circles along her back in an effort to calm her down. She stopped sobbing but she refused to look at Boober. She didn't think she deserved his kindness. "I'm so stupid. I have two young children to take care of, friends who love me... and what do I do? I tried to drown myself!" She sniffled and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her sweater. "It hurts, Boober... it hurts more than anything ever has." He kissed her head and replied, "I know, sweetwater. I feel like that, too. We all do." He took deep breaths, trying to fight back the urge to cry. His face began to heat up and he quickly ran his hands through his hair to distract himself from showing his feelings. He didn't want Mokey to see him upset. It would make her feel worse. After calming down, he looked Mokey straight in the eye. "I need you to do something for me. I need you to be strong. I know it's hard, but Zara wouldn't want you to feel like this."