The Ocean Remembers | JJ Maybank

C H A P T E R 30

GOODBYES

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 had been crackling around us for a few instants, no one of us daring to cover its sound with our voice, when John B cleared his throat.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" he asked.

"I'm leaving at 7," I explained before leaving out a sigh. "My parents don't want any visitors though so I'll just say goodbye to you all tonight"

I crossed JJ's gaze as my sentence ended and he looked away, which didn't allow me to read his feelings. I looked at my friends and Kie held my hand. "We won't leave you behind. You'll be the first Pogue that's ever been in Hawaii," she shrugged.

"Yeah, and we'll see you soon," Pope stated, but I didn't even know if my parents would ever allow me to.

"Hopefully, yeah," I sighed.

I looked at the stars and my eyes filled up with tears as I realised this time it was for good, I'd be gone in a few hours. Away from my friends, from my best friends, from what felt like home.

"Remember when we went fishing on the hms and John B fell in the water because you pushed him?" Kiara broke the silence, laughing.

"Oh yeah," I giggled and the others smiled at the memory as well. "Or this time when we surfed for hours and then made a campfire"

We all smiled more wildly and kept remembering ourselves happy memories we had shared. As our ending was approaching, I was now sure I had never been more a Pogue.

We spent a few hours gathered around the campfire, until everyone's eyes started to tire and we slowly got up. I looked at my friends with sadness but also gratitude dripping off my eyes. "Well, I guess that's it," I softly spoke and Kiara shook her head, as to show me she didn't agree.

"If you say this then it means it's over," she pulled me in a warm hug and she started sobbing in my arms. The fact one of my closest friends here was breaking down about my departure hit me very hard in the chest.

"Come here, group hug," Pope offered.

Everyone gathered around me and I felt 8 arms holding me tight, making me feel loved and safe, two feelings I would probably forget about very soon. I smiled warmly, and closed my eyes to focus on them.

"Okay enough of that shit," JJ broke in and it made me realise it was the first time in a long time I heard the sound of his voice.

"Bye Sam," Pope whispered, kissing my head softly. "I don't regret helping you loading those heavy boxes in, you were worth it"

"You were worth it too Pope," I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed my ear on his chest, to listen to his heartbeat.

Tears dropped down my cheeks and on his white t-shirt, and he rubbed my back slowly. I smiled at him and pulled away, before making my way to Kiara and holding her tight. "I can't wait to braid your hair again, and hear new songs on your ukulele"

"I won't disappoint girl, I swear," she answered before I went to John B and hugged him as tight as I could.

"Take care of them, but don't forget to put yourself first, okay?" I whispered and he hugged me back so tight I couldn't breathe.

"Promise. Be safe okay?" he demanded.

I nodded, wiped my tears away and watched them leaving, my heart shattering every time a new step added distance between us. JJ grabbed my hand, reminding me he was there. But it hurt me so deep.

The hardest goodbye was yet to come.

He placed himself in front of me and cupped my cheeks, so I couldn't look away from his blue eyes. "You've been so quiet tonight JJ"

"It's hard finding the right words when you're about to lose the love of your life," he softly explained. "Words won't be enough"

"JJ, please," my voice broke and he kissed my forehead. "Be happy without me okay? don't let anyone ruin you. Not your father, not Rafe or Topper, no one"

A tear escaped his left eyes and he kept looking at me the whole time, wiping my tears with his thumbs, but he eventually gave up when too many poured down.

"You need to be loved for who you are JJ, find yourself someone who will make you so happy you'll forget what crying feels like," I sobbed.

"Samarah stop," he broke in. "I don't want anyone else, I want you. Whether you're in Japan, in Turkey or on the Moon, I'll love you and only you," he concluded sadly.

He looked for something in his pockets and pulled his iron lighter out of one of them, smiling proudly. He grabbed a sharp blade as well and engraved the two letters of his name on it. As he finished writing the second J and handed the lighter out to me, my heart filled up with happiness.

"Here, take this. I once said I wouldn't pass it to you since I didn't help Kooks but you're a Pogue so you can have it"

I grabbed it and looked at it carefully before placing it in my pocket and pulling JJ in a warm hug. Maybe our last hug. I felt his heart pounding against my chest and I appreciated each beat, making sure my boyfriend's heart wasn't as hurt as mine. He hugged me tighter and tighter and I felt like I was going to explode so I bursted out in laugh and he let go.

"I love you my pretty girl, you're the best thing that ever happened to me," he sobbed and I nodded.

"You're the best part of myself JJ, I like myself more when I'm with you," I added, sobbing even more than him. The scene looked probably dramatic from the outside; two teenagers sobbing on a beach under the moonlight, but we didn't care. "I love you"

I pressed my lips on his and tasted the salt of the waves we surfed, the sweat and love our bodies had exchanged, the tears we had cried but most of all happiness, and it's what hit me first. How happy we were, together.

But, indeed, all good things must come to an end. Even love.

He kissed me back with passion and I rested my forehead on his, before looking through his blue eyes a last time and walking away. I walked away from him knowing he didn't follow me. Knowing everything was over with this handsome surfer.

I turned around and smiled. "JJ, it's Walker, my name is Walker," I explained and he laughed in between sobs, before I definitely left the beach.

In the darkness of the late august night, my whole world fell apart and I walked away from my dreams, not looking back.

"Bye Walker, bye my love"