April 2017
New York City
Harry Styles
We were rehearsing for SNL today. I still couldn't believe that I get to go on the show. I never would've imagined that, especially not as a solo artist.
We were filming the sketches I'm participating in through the upcoming days and then it's airing in a few days which is awesome. I'm also performing on the show so these upcoming days are filled with rehearsals and fittings.
My single is also out today.
Sign of the times, that's fucking sick.
The response I've gotten so far is amazing, people seem to love it. I couldn't be happier to be honest.
"Harry you ready for lunch?" Jeff asked when he popped his head through the door to my dressing room.
"Uh yeah" I said and put my phone away.
Haley haven't texted me today.. I was expecting a text from her but haven't gotten one yet.
We've barley talked since I left her in New York the last time I was here. I've had so much going on with getting stuff ready for the album release and all that. Also because I hated how she didn't tell me.
But fuck I do miss her, I really do it's been over a month since I've seen her and since we've barley talked I'm itching to see her. I want to figure this all out somehow, I need her.
"Have you heard from Cherry?" Jeff asked as we walked towards the catering area.
"No.. not at all" I said with a sigh as I sat down by a table further away from everyone else with Jeff and Mitch.
"She's having the last show tonight, or the last one for the American leg" I said and she was supposed to fly straight to New York from Miami to see me. But now I don't even know if she'll be here, she was supposed to join me for my SNL gig and be here but I have no clue if she's showing up.
A part of me was scared shitless that she has relapsed.. but if she would've Jenna or Stevie would've called, I'm sure they would.
"When was the last time you talked?" Mitch asked and I shrugged.
"I dunno.. like two weeks ago?" I said and leaned my head in my hands. I've calmed down by now and after everything with Robin I've also taken some time to figure it all out. It was just a lot at the same fucking time.
"Are you still upset?" He asked and I shrugged.
"I mean I hate the fact that I wasn't the first one to know since I was right there.. but I think I'm more hurt about not being the first one she confides in than her actually telling me, she's been the first one I'd tell anything" I sighed and rubbed my eyes.
"Yeah.. totally get that man, but I'm sure you two will figure it out" he said and I gave him a nod.
"Yeah.. sure" I said and gave him a small smile.
I had Haley on my mind for the rest of the day. I wanted her here, she was supposed to be here tomorrow morning but I'm not sure she'll show.
I had her on my mind when I had the next table read the day after.
And she didn't show up, she wasn't at my hotel room when I woke up this morning. It was still radio silence.
Not a single peep, the day went on and still not a word.
I was supposed to meet my team for dinner tonight and I wasn't to excited. I really wanted to stay in my hotel room staring at the beaming moping around about the fact that Haley wasn't here. Jeff had texted me a few times telling me that they already left and I'd meet them at the restaurant.
It was just a few blocks down so I knew I could probably walk there unannounced.
Getting dressed in a pair of slacks, a T-shirt with a cardigan on top and a coat and a fisherman's hat to be able to hide my face a little.
The New York air was crisp and loud. The honking and police sirens, it's loud and I love it. I love New York, I feel like you can go out without being noticed cause everyone is so busy in their own world and distracted by the loud city that I get to be alone.
