To be sixteen years old and perform in front of thousands of people is something a lot of people dream about. To hear them scream out your name and sing along to the songs you wrote. That they know every lyric in every song. It makes you feel powerful, and the feeling is not something you can describe.
But everything that comes with it is just something I don't enjoy. Maybe not every single thing, but the pressure is always something I've not enjoyed, that you can't walk down the street without people going absolutely crazy. I would give it all up to just be able to walk down the street to be honest.
But the past 7 years has been like this and all I want is to do music but the music industry isn't just music anymore. It's a lot more, and I can't handle everything with the paparazzi, the media, other celebrities. It's fucking annoying.
But there are parts of it I love so much, I love the studio time and I adore being on stage. But sometimes it gets a little to much. I just love the music.
And now, it's almost the end of 2014. I'm 24 and I'm in a stage of my life where I don't know where to go anymore.
I don't hang out with a lot of people I'm more of a loner, which no one would really think.
Tonight is this big award show and I'm currently hanging out in my house in LA. It's a cute little house in Malibu, right by the beach. I've always loved the beach, I grew up in Pennsylvania and my parents had a beach house at the Jersey Shore where we spent all summer when I was a kid.
And I was doing almost all of my work here in LA so I decided to move out here five years ago, my mom was not thrilled but my dad agreed if my manager kept a really close eye on me and I promised to call every night. And always bring security wherever I went, which made my body guard Dave my best friend. I don't think anyone knows me like him. He's literally the best.
Anyhow, I knew that in just a couple of minutes until my stylist Freddie, my makeup artist Taylor two dear friends of mine, and my manager Stevie would burst through the door.
So this moment was literally the calm before the storm. But I've decided that tonight is going to be a good night. I knew a lot of people who is going to be there it's gonna be nice, as soon as I get something to drink and my nerves relax. Which I should do now already.
I got up from the couch on my balcony and walked in to the kitchen, it was a normal sized kitchen with dark green cabinets and the countertop was black marble and it was gold details everywhere, I loved it. I got this place renovated a while back so I got it just how I liked it.
I got the gin out of my liquor cabinet and then a lemon and some tonic water from the fridge. I squeezed one piece of the lemon in the glass added some ice quite a lot of gin and some more tonic water. I took a metal straw from the drawer and mixed everything and took the first sip my that made my nerves relax and it was at that same moment my front door opened and I heard Stivies voice.
"Haley honey, where are you?" I heard her from the living room.
"Kitchen" I said back and saw her tall frame walk in. Stevie was tall had medium brown hair and blue eyes. She always wore office wear like slacks and a dresses and today was no exception.
"So you've already started I see" she said and I rolled my eyes. I love Stivie she just wasn't enjoying my drinking habits for the past year.
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