𝐄𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 | Jegulus • Marauders

Brothers Fued

This was not an ideal situation in Regulus' opinion.

If you'd told him a month ago that he'd be sat across from his brother, ready for a heart to heart, he simply would've laughed and walked away.

But unfortunately for him, this was a reality.

He was sat across from his brother and they were about to pour their souls out to each other.

He wasn't entirely sure how he got to be here but he was half glad he was. He'd dreamt of this moment from the day his brother left him all those years ago.

"So," Sirius said, pausing to cough. "How's your throat doing?"

"It's alright, Effie said that it should heal soon enough." Regulus replied, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

Sirius nodded before continuing. "She told us that it was going to scar, I'm sorry about that." 

"Please don't be, it wasn't you who did it."

"I know, I know I just don't think that's something that anyone would be okay with." Sirius coughed again, cracking his knuckles whilst doing so.

"Well I'm not okay with it but I don't see any reason being upset about it because it'll just make me feel worse in the long run."

Sirius nodded in agreement.

"That's a good strategy."

"It's not really a strategy, it's just how I've chosen to live my life."

There was a loud silence in the room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius asked his brother.

"Talk about what?"

"Your life."

Regulus tilted his head to the side.

"Why do you want to talk about it?"

Sirius let out a little chuckle. "Because you nearly died and I hate the thought of that. The thought of the fact that you could have died and we still hadn't put our feuds and past behind us." He takes a deep breath. "Does that make sense? I'm sorry if it doesn't."

"No, it does."

"So, who wants to start?"

"I'll start." Regulus said, straightening his posture.

"Okay." Sirius nodded.

"Back when we were little and you'd just gone to Hogwarts." Regulus spoke aloud, confirming to himself that there was were it started for him.

Sirius sat still, waiting for him to continue.

"You'd just been sorted into Gryffindor so obviously mother and father were on an absolute rampage about it, giving me lectures everyday on how I'm not allowed to have contact with you because you're a quote "disgrace to the family name." I mean that never stopped us but I very vividly remembered the moment I had convinced myself I was losing you and maybe mother was right, all those bloody letters you wrote to me talking about this amazing new friend called James Potter. You'd completely forgotten to ask me how I was or what I was doing, no you just decided to brag about this amazing new brother you'd found." Regulus took a deep breath and looked at his brothers stunned face before continuing.

"At first I was really happy for you and though that it meant that I would meet someone like that in my first year but then it just got annoying. I felt abandoned, I thought you'd left me. Then when my first year comes around you dragged me on to the train to meet your magical new brother and I didn't get it. I didn't see what was so good about him, if anything he was just plain weird. The worst part of it all was that I realized James was actually so much better than me way before we actually started talking. After I got sorted into Slytherin you'd always give me those weird looks in the hallways or snap at me and it'd never be you to apologize, it would always be him."

Sirius looks at him, stunned.

"I- I don't know what to say." The elder brother said.

"Try. It'll make me feel better about admitting that."

"I never meant to leave you, Reggie. That was never my intention. First year was so important to me because I'd never spoken let alone been friends with someone other than you or our parents. I was so worried people weren't going to like me but then three little idiots walked into my life and I felt loved but I was loved so much more by James. He made me feel good about myself for once but I could never have that with you because our parents were always around the corner watching and assessing my every move." Sirius looked at the floor. "I was so excited to tell you about him because in my mind I thought you'd be with us at Hogwarts so of course that meant you'd have to be friends with James too. I mean I was right you did because friends with James, I just got the timings a bit wrong."

Regulus gave a low chuckle.

"If anything my relationship with James made me feel worse about the situation because I understood how much better he was and he unintentionally showed me all the things he gave you that I never could." Regulus shuffled in his chair. "It was like it all clicked in my mind, why you chose him, why you ran off to him, why he was all you ever spoke about. Why he was the better friend."

Sirius' mouth hung open in a confused state. "I never said that!"

"You didn't have to." Regulus smiled at him, a sad smile filled with unspoken words.

"I think one of the reasons we eventually cut each other out our lives was because of how bloody guilty I felt, not even about James at that point I just felt like I'd completely let you down. I was sorted into Slytherin which I obviously didn't actually have any say in but you still made me feel like absolute shit because of it. All of those little snide remarks, the funny looks and worst of all, all those times you ignored me at Hogwarts or shut me out when I needed you to hold me or I needed to talk to you. I felt like it was all my fault and you did that to me. It wasn't till you left I realized it wasn't actually my fault and that you were the bad person in that situation." The young Slytherin told his brother. "I don't think you understand how much you hurt me through the years Sirius, yes you used to stand up for me when we were kids and take all of mothers curses even when it wasn't your fault but that stopped years and bloody years ago, yet you still expect me to thank you for it and shower you in praise." 

"I don't know what to say." Sirius said, head facing the floor.

"Of course you don't."

"All I can say is I'm sorry. I never knew, I always just threw you in with the rest of our family and I can now see and say that I was so unbelievably wrong for that and I'm sorry. I know nothing I say can take away all the pain and hurt we've caused each other over the years but I want to try." The elders eyes started to become glossy. "I want my brother back."

"As much as I want that for us too, I don't think we'll ever have it back Sirius. It's the unfortunate fact of life."

"Please Reggie, we can work past it all I know we can!" Sirius begged, desperately.

Regulus put his face in his hands for a moment before getting up and leaving the room and a distraught Sirius. Once the Gryffindor had actually registered the fact his brother had left, he wrapped his arms around himself and sobbed, realising that not even half of the conversation was finished yet it had already gone to shit.

They missed their brother.

_-_-_-_-_

Woah

Hi again my darlings its been so long <33

I thought I'd give you a sort of long chapter because I was bored and ngl I missed you all so here you go <3

Anyways,

Byeee <33