user not found | b.e

thirty five

I excuse myself and go into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

my mom.

she's here.

I haven't seen or heard about that woman in years.

I don't know what to do or what to think. I start walking back into the front room when I see my mother standing up.

"and who's this then?" the points over to billie who's sitting at the table.

"this is billie, uh sage's girlfriend"

"blossom? my baby blossom? she's here?"

"who's blossom?" billie asks and I step forward and everyone turns to look at me.

"me, it's my middle name" I tell billie walking closer so my mom can see me.

"oh my god" my mom walks closer to me, wrapping her arms around me and I push her off. "baby it's been so long? how have you been?"

"how have I been? are you taking the piss?"

"what?"

"what are you doing here? what are you really doing here?"

"I told mom I need-"

"don't give me that bullshit. you using again?" I grab her arm and lift up her sleeve and see the needle marks dotted along her arms.

my dad told me she used drugs before they got together and since we left, I had millions of images of what my mom has been getting up to.

but using drugs? I thought better of her.

seems like I never really knew her at all.

"andy" my grandma says in a sad voice. "you promised"

"I want you to turn around, walk out of this door and don't bother coming back"

I had my suspicions she's been using my grandma for money for a while but because we never talk about my mom, they were always suspicions.

and I was right.

"blossom"

"don't fucking blossom me. piss off" I pick up her shoes and push her backwards towards the door.

"dad was right about you" I open the door and push her out watching as she stumbles backwards and falls onto the floor.

"you know I tried to find you. I sent letters, emails, text messages, postcards and I heard nothing"

"I was going to blossom I swear"

"bullshit!" I yell, wiping the angry tear from my face. "you were my mother and you ruined my life and I will not let you ruin it again. don't fucking come back because you're not welcome here" I slam the door shut and stare at the wood.

I don't have time to think about her right now.

she is not going to ruin my perfect evening.

I compose myself for a moment and wipe my face, walking back into the room.

all three of them are staring at me and I brush past harry, going back to the table and sitting down, picking up my cards.

"enough of that, where were we?"

I look at billie but she's looking down at her pile of cards, unmoved from when that woman walked in.

the woman who doesn't even deserve to be called my mother.

billie has a strange look on her face, almost like someone has just told her that her dogs dead.

"what's up with you?"

she was laughing and joking with my grandma just a moment ago.

what happened?

"I got a text from my brother, I gotta go"

no fucking way.

she tells me that im dodging my problems and uses the 'I got a text' excuse?

what the fuck?

"what's wrong?"

"nothing" she mutters, standing up, still not looking at me and stands up. "he just needs my help, sorry" she walks over and quickly kisses my grandma on the cheek.

"thanks for dinner marie, it was lovely"

"you're welcome anytime love"

I barely registers whats happening until the front door slams.

I run towards the door and catch billie as she's opening her car door. "wait!"

"ive gotta go" she doesn't even look at me when she opens her car door but I slam it shut before she has the chance to get in.

suddenly im angry. "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

she spins around "was this some sort of sick game?"

"what? is this about my mom?"

"no this isn't-" billie runs her hand through her hair and shoves my arm off her car door, opening it. "this is fucked up. I gotta go"

she jumps in the car and slams her door shut, starting the engine.

"billie!" I bang on the car door but she doesn't look, pulling away and zooming down the street.

I stand and watch her car drive down the street clueless as to what the fuck just happened.

HOW WE FEELING????