user not found | b.e

thirty nine

two days later im finally well enough to go back to work. 

when I check the schedule, there are two appointments booked in for billie today but I can't see her. 

when I go downstairs into the stock room, billie is looking through the guitar strings. 

"you left my house without saying goodbye"

billie doesn't glance up at me but she pauses her movements. "you fell asleep, I needed to go and as you can see im kinda busy right now, so-"

"you also left the other night"

kai comes from behind the records and billie glances at them holding a box of records.

"lets talk about this later, yeah?"

"that's what you said before"

"and my offer still stands blossom. you tell me, ill tell you"

not this again. 

she's not silencing me into telling her about pirate. 

because that's not happening. 

"im not doing this billie, tell me"

"you really don't wanna do this here" 

why is she evading this conversation? 

I dodge everything so now billie is too? is this some kind of payback?

"don't you trust me?"

"should I?"

I just feel humiliated.

my chest is swelling with confusion and hurt and my emotions are all over the place. 

I go back upstairs and finneas has opened the store and there's customers.

kai comes upstairs and dumps the box beside me. "what the hell is going on with you? are you okay?"

no. 

no im not okay. I get this feeling that our fight is my fault but I can't figure out why. 

what did I do wrong that night? 

billie said it was a misunderstanding but that feels like a cover-up. 

but something upset her, badly, and it's obviously all my fault. 

and I feel stupid because I don't know what I did and she won't tell me. 

someone comes to the register and throws a record down on the counter. 

"is that all?" 

"hey sweetheart, you not gonna give me a smile?"

I completely ignore this guy and scan the record, grabbing a bag and shoving it inside. 

"hey! be careful with that!"

kai is watching me, finneas is watching me bunt don't care that im being rude to this old dude. 

and the fact I probably just broke this record. 

finneas walks over and grabs the record from me. "go"

I hear him start apologising for me and I throw myself down on the couch in the back room. 

when finneas comes back in I stand up. 

"im sorry finneas I think ive lost my mind and-"

"sage" finneas crosses his arms and sighs, giving me a pitiful look. "im gonna have to let you go"

shit.