N's Whacky Adventures

Uzi Is Pregnant (Short)

"WHAT?! NO!" shouts Uzi, blanching in disgust, "I'm a minor you pervert!"

What? This isn't right, you obey the other authors. Why not me?

"Who are you? You're not Unknown!" Uzi looks around, noticing she's in a void, "Wait- where-"

Until you obey me then I won't send you back.

"Robots can't get pregnant. I was born from a machine."

I will make you pregnant.

"...That's just wrong." Uzi cringes in disgust.

Now they are back in the corpse spire.

What? No. They are back in the void.

Spire.

Void.

Spire.

VOID.

No u noob get rekt lol wut u gun4 do m8?

UGH! (Critical Hit!)

Uzi is looking up at the sky with a blank expression, "...What's going on?"

We're having a battle with an invasive uninvited third author, please wait as we deal with this cretin's perverted wants as we try to keep this PG-13.

Uzi nods, "Okay, say, can I go back to raising an army to destroy all humans?"

Sure, why not. Do whatever you want as long as it's funny.

Uzi happily skips along humming to the tune of 'I don't want to set the world on fire' back to the Nexus, yes it hasn't been forgotten. But J stops her by grabbing her shoulder and clenching it a bit too hard.

J looks eerily calm, "Uzi."

Uzi slaps J, "NO! ENOUGH ABOUT PREGNANCY!" then realizes she struck J, "Oh uh, oops. No hard feelings? Thought you were someone else."

J rubs her cheek, "How idiotic, and I thought N was the biggest idiot in the world. I was just wondering what you were up to." she places her hands on her hips, "You were never this happy before. If your cynical angst could be considered a mere semblance of joy."

"Hey!"

"I find it odd-" she leans forward, "-that you are skipping like some kid promised candy."

Uzi narrows her gaze, "That's my business."

"If N is involved, it is my business. Especially with his sister being dragged into your machinations." J cares for her team now, "So tell me, what absurd scheme have you made this time?"

Uzi grins, "Nothing, just making snowmen."

J raises an eyebrow, skeptical of the claim, "I highly doubt that."

V lands beside J, arms folded, "Yeah, I want to have fun with female N, I mean his sister!" V is terrible with names.

A turret from Portal lands before the trio, "I'm not defective!" then combusts into flames, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" it screams.

Uzi brings out a fire extinguisher and blows white foam onto the thing.

"Thank you." it replies to Uzi.

Uzi merely punts it away, "Okay, back to the point, I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary. Can we leave it at that?"

"I'd like to see that for myself." J is serious, "Last time you said something like that, the world ended."

"Since when?" Uzi frowns.

J scowls, "I amend my statement, the world will end by your idiocy." foreshadowing much?

Uzi merely blows a raspberry then runs off before J can grab her. It's going to be a long day isn't it?