The Hermitcraft Plays

3: So... everyone's learning their lines, right?

'Ok! Week three! Everyone's got their character's name actually sorted now, right?' Joe appeared, early on Monday morning to say. 'We've got through a few runs of the first 3 scenes, and I think costumes are being started for some of the parts. Certainly the simpler ones. Now, I also asked you lot to be off script... except you Grian, and Pearl, because you two share half the lines in the play. But the rest of you should be close to being off-script.  Now, scene 4. Grian, Pearl, Scar, Ren, and Keralis. Or, Prince Grain, Pearlie, Din Djarin, Renvolio, and Mr Diamonds. Keralis, you start on stage.'

And thus the scene was set, with Keralis on what was now actually resembling a stage, with a raised platform for the 'actors', a wall behind, and an archway (actually called a procentium arch :D) across the front of the stage. Keralis was on one side, and Grian, Scar, Ren and Pearl entered the other way. 

'Mr Diamonds can help us!' Scar began, confidently off script. 'He can sell us a map to cross the tresheseherous mountains!'

'Mr Diamonds will rob us, Din Djarin.' Renvolio shot back. 'Besides, Sells gave these two a map.' 

'Mr Diamonds can give us a better one.'

'I say we give it a try.' Grian shrugged. 

'You're saying we should give everything a try... you should be more careful, Grain.' 

'Careful? I'm being careful.' Scar crossed the stage to where Keralis was. 'One map of the mountains please!'

'Ok, sweet faces. That will be 30 diamonds.' 

'Thirty diamonds?! Scar, he's robbing us! As I said!'

'Don't worry, Ren. I can pay for it.' 

'You sure will...' Pearl crossed her arms. 'The rest of us don't have that kind of money.' 

'Don't worry, Din Djarin. We can split the cost.' Grian pulled out some actual diamonds from his inventory, handing them to Keralis. Scar shrugged, following and doing the same.'

'Thirty diamonds... there you go!'

'Thank you sweet faces! Enjoy your travels!' Keralis handed over a non-existent map. Neither of Grian and Scar moved.

'Where's our map?' Scar asked, crossing his arms.

'Joe hasn't provided one yet.'

'Give us the map, or give us our diamonds.' Grian crossed his arms. In the background, Scar nodded. 

'But you gave them to me. They're mine.'

'Keralis, promise you'll give them back...' Joe sighed. 

'No!'

'Keralis... please.' 

'Finders keepers.' 

'Are we... carrying on the scene?' Ren asked. 'Because I've forgotten my next line...' 

'Oh, I made up everything I said, don't worry.' Scar replied with a smile. 

'I noticed...' Joe sighed, head in hands. 'Right, carry on.' 

'Excuse me, Mr Diamonds, I'm sorry about my friends here, but we're getting a refund. We have a map, we don't need your rubbish one.' Ren pushed past Scar to say, now Pearl had shown him his line.

'No refunds.' Keralis crossed his arms. 

'We're getting it back!' Pearl joined in.

'Yeah! Give us back our money!' Added Scar with much more confidence than he should've felt. 

'That's... literally the opposite of your line.' Grian muttered. 

'Actually, no! Keep our diamonds! Take more diamonds! Take all the diamonds!' Scar beamed, handing Keralis all the diamonds he had on him in his excitement. The wide-eyed hermit smiled back.

'Thanks so much, sweet face!' 

'Come on, let's go to the mountains and fight the dragon or whatever we're doing...' Scar began to walk offstage, both the wrong way and at the wrong time. Joe still had his head in his hands. 

'I... Pearlie, Renvolio, let's go find him.' Grian sighed, skipping the rest of the scene on his own. 'Next scene...? Not much information, it just says 'TREES'.

'It's my scene!' Etho gasped over-enthusiastically. 'Finally! I've been practicing my lines for ages!'

'Who else is... uhh... a tree?' Grian asked.

'Iskall, Bdubs, TFC and Hypno.' Joe mumbled. 'And Cub's also in this scene. Just... I don't really know what's happening any more. And, Keralis, give back Grian and Scar's diamonds...'

'I don't have their diamonds.' Keralis lied. 

'Fine- Mr Diamonds. Give back their diamonds.' 

'I'm not Mr Diamonds,' Keralis jumped off the stage, crossing over to where Stress had a lot of paper leaves, seemingly for the trees, and covered himself in them. 'I'm a boosh.'

'A what!?' Joe turned to look at him, slamming his hands on the table. 

'A boosh.' Keralis repeated stubbornly. 'I'm onstage with the trees and don't say anything.' 

'Keralis, please. I literally made that character just for you.' 

'I'm a boosh.' 

'Keralis, give me back my diamonds. And Scar's.'

'I can kill him if you want.' Called over Cub, halfway over towards the stage. Etho was already there, waiting for the scene to start. 

'Yeah, that would be great!' Grian replied, actually serious. 'Keralis, you have 10 seconds to give me and Scar out diamonds or... and he's dead.' He stopped as Cub killed Keralis, spraying a whole lot of items, most importantly diamonds, everywhere. Scar snatched up said diamonds. 

'How many did you give him?'

'15...' Grian replied, holding out a hand to pick up his rightfully earned diamonds. Scar handed them back, and with a sigh, Grian returned to the stage, reading through the script to check lines as he did. Etho was the only tree onstage, but after a decent amount of convincing from Joe, the other 4 joined in too, ready to begin the scene. 

'Alright then... trees start on stage. Grian, Scar, Ren, Pearl, you come on stage right, Cub, you come on stage left.'

'Right.' Scar immediately went off the wrong side of the stage, joined for a moment by Grian.

'Wait, is stage right mine or your right?'

'Yours.' Joe replied. Now, let's get on with the scene...'