The Hermitcraft Plays

9: Scene Nein (and scene 10)

'Right! Scene 9! Cub, Scar, you're on. Bdubs, prepare to run on.' 

'Yess!' Scar attempted some mad jump onto the stage, and ended up crashing into it, scrambling up. Cub helped him up.

'You alright?' 

'Yep! Let's go!' 

'Bdubs, enter, and start the scene!' 

'My all powerful masters! There is terrible news!' 

'What?' Both the convex replied in unison, turning to face him.

'The... the minions you sent to guard those toys you trapped... they come, defeated, with news of an attack! And that a group of rapscallions have freed them and reversed all your hard work!' 

'What?!' Scar, for once, followed the script. Bdubs nodded back, but before he could say his next line, Cub interrupted. 

'So, Vassal. You viewed these vagrants and vagabonds venerating the villains with vile vindicating violence, vainly voicing vetoing us, the valorous vexes, victors of the vast valleys of villages, viewed as invariably valued and venerated. In volunteering to verbally voice this vile villainy amongst our victories vexes me verily. So vanish, vamoose, vassal, avoid my vision before I vanquish you violently to the void!'

'I'M SORRY MY ALMIGHTY GOD CUBFAN!' Cried back Bdubs, visibly cowering. Everyone else was left in shellshocked silence, until Grian started clapping, and everyone joined in, whether out of fear or not. 

'Oh my goodness...' Was all Scar replied with. 'That's a lot of big words...'

'How- when did you write that?' 

'Few days ago...' 

'When did you learn it off by heart?!' Was Grian's question. 'Oh my goodness, Cub, you're a madman.'

A laugh back.

'Yeah...'

'Continue scene?'

'Leave our presence immediately!' Repeated Cub. Bdubs ran offstage.

'And bring in the... Perp tractors? Protractors?'

'Bring in the perpetrators!' Interrupted Cub, trying not to laugh.

'Purpur traitor? What's a purpur traitor?'

'Cleo! Doc! That's your cue!'

'What? Dude, I can't see anything they're saying on the script! Cub doesn't have a line about the purpur traitors and Scar's not helping.'

'Doc, Cleo, just go onstage!'

'We have sinned, mighty ones.' Cleo began. 'And for that we are very sorry and beg for penance.'

'You were supposed to be our best guards. And now you've failed against a couple of idiots.'

'Insistent. There were six of them.' Doc read.

'Angrily. Your despl... desplacable defeat will not go without reprocations!'

'Terrified. Oh no, please give us your pity.'

'Silence, traitor!' Cub snapped back at Cleo. 'I don't want your apologies or excuses!'

'Yeah!'

'Why is Scar making everything up?! It's just confusing!'

'For your diablical error you will be sent to the pit of the vexes and murdered according to the laws of our venestrated kingdom with the passion of a thousand Scars!'

'No! Don't kill us!'

'Please! We beg for forgiveness!' Added Cleo.

'Bdubs! Take the traitors to the pit!'