The Hermitcraft Plays

2: The start

'CUB WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!' Grian screeched. Scar face immediately turned bright pink. A look of pure regret flashed past Cub's eyes.

'I- can't sing...' Scar mumbled.

'We know,' Cleo replied.

'He's not THAT bad!' Cub protested. 'With a bit of practice, he'll be just as good as everyone else.'

'Scariah Carey,' Grian reminded. 'We must never forget Scariah Carey.'

'I've given him the smallest singing part I feasibly can, and I've told Martyn and Oli to make his part as simple as they can.'

'Martyn's doing the music?' Ren perked up. 'Really?'

'Yeah! He's doing the lyrics, Oli's doing the tunes, I'm writing the script, directing, and doing choreography.'

'Choreography?' Now it was Mumbo's turned to be scared. 'I can't dance!'

'I can't dance either! I don't know left or right or- wait...' Scar paused, trying to figure out if he'd signalled left or right correctly, or if he even wanted to.

'Can I play drums instead of singing?' Skizz asked. 'I- don't feel confident singing in front of a large audience.'

'Everyone has to sing, but most people don't have solos. We haven't got a production date yet, so we have as long as we need to learn how to sing and dance... if that's everything, we can start the series, and... meet up here in a week in good time to start rehearsals. Oh, and I want everyone to read the script and have a character name and 3 facts about them for then! And Grian, I need to talk to you at some point!' Joe continued calling desperately as the hermits ran off to start Season 10.

The week passed. Every time Joe was going to talk to Grian, he was too busy, so the director decided to find and talk with him after the first rehearsal instead. Which it immediately seemed there wouldn't be time for as it took until midday for everyone except Jevin, including Martyn and Oli, to be there.

'When I said 'arrive in good time' did ANYONE listen?'

'We listened!' Grian insisted. 'Ans I genuinely think midday is a good time to meet because I can get more sleep.'

'I always arrive in good time,' Scar said. 'It's in my name.'

'And- and I came with Scar so I certainly came WITH GoodTimes,' pointed out Impulse.

'I'm annoyed that you're right... tomorrow can we arrive by 10AM?' Joe admitted with a sigh. 'Anyway, let's get on with the first rehearsal for the Hermit Musical! Wooo!' Only Ren and Gem joined in with Joe's cheer. 'And welcome Martyn and Oli, our musicians!' An even louder cheer.

'Speech! Speech! Speech!' Joel started chanting. More Hermits joined in until Oli cleared his throat, pulling out his lute.

'Our names and Martyn and Oliiiiii, we make the musical jollyyyyy!'

'What a wonderful introduction to our musicians!' Joe interrupted slightly desperately 'Later on, anyone can choose to join the band playing the songs. I know Xisuma, Impulse and Stress have already shown interest... now, onto the first scene. We need Wels, xB, Beef and Hypno... names and character details?

'My name is Tellsknight.' Wels gave a small bow. 'I'm the local storyteller of the town where the play begins, I'm reading out the story a hundred years after for the audience, and I can break the fourth wall.'

'We are immediately off to a strong start! xB, can you continue this?'

'My name is Xavier Bartholomew Expositionus,' xB replied, unable to fight a giggle. 'I'm the younger brother of Beef and Hypno's characters, my birthday is Christmas day and I end every single line I say with 'awww yeahhh'.'

'Well, we were certainly looking for some unique characters... does this include sung lines as well?'

'Aww yeah!' xB agreed. Martyn scribbled something down in a notebook.

'My name is Percival Edmund Expositionus,' Beef said without prompting. 'My initials are pee, my greatest talent is juggling 8 snowballs at a time and I'm the eldest brother of xB and Hypno's characters.'

'You can juggle 8 snowballs?' Cub noticed. 'Really?'

'Well, I can't but...'

'You need to improve that snowballification!' Tango insisted

'We're not putting on the play until you can juggle!' agreed Scar. Beef grimaced.

'And... Hypno?'

'My name is Theodore Hyptotheno Expositionus.'

'Hyp-toth-e-no?' Doc tried to say the name. Grian appeared lost in thought before realising.

'Wait! Wait isn't that just 'Hyp to the No'? pronounced weirdly?' Hypno nodded, incredibly pleased with himself.

'Yep! And I'm the middle Expositionus child, I'm smarter than the other two and...'

'He's actually adopted,' interrupted Beef.

'No I'm not! Who'd adopt the MIDDLE child?'

'I don't know... maybe our parents didn't know how old you were?'

'AND my initials are 'THE', so going up in age order our names say we're X-be the pee.'

'xB the Pee?'

'Wait a minute... hang on- I didn't agree to this!' xB protested. Grian was laughing.

'I'm sorry, Sweetface. I guess you're pee now.' Keralis patted xB on the shoulder. The guardian-hybrid glared back at Hypno and Beef, who were still laughing and high-fiving each other.

'Dang it!' But xB was still laughing. Joe, on the other hand, sighed.

'xPeeCrafted,' Hypno added with a smirk.

'Thank you... right, you're in the first scene...'

'URINE the first scene?' Martyn noticed. Joe threw his script at him. Martyn picked it up quickly.

'Wait, wait, wait,' Grian stepped in. 'You DID say...?'

'Martyn is NOT director! Now... we don't have time for everyone to share their character details, but we can all write them down. Grian, I need to speak to you.'

'I wanted to write down about Lord Beaky's parrot obsessions!' Grian protested.

'There'll be time for that later... Wels! Start the scene!'

'Welcome!' Wels began dramatically. 'One and all, big and small, to the wonderful town of... Uhh...'

'Townsville!' Beef called

'the wonderful town of Townsville where we begin our story... For years our protagonists have lived here and...'

'Right, Grian.' Joe turned from watching Wels's performance to the small gremlin child. 'I think you know why you're here.'

'No?' lied Grian innocently. 'Why am I here?'

'Because you signed up to be director.'