The Hermitcraft Plays

The mess that was: the Dress Rehearsal

Ah yes, the part that always goes so well when putting on a play

And the chapter where I know I'm gonna give up on being funny and just go full angst because that's what I'm good at 

'From scene 1, to the end, as fast as we can... let's go.' Joe sat in the audience, watching as Grian came on, and the run through began.

'Welcome! Friends, pets, and whoever else is here, to the village of Hermitville where I, your humble main character, lives. Please enjoy the show we have for you today, and the quests that I must go on to get the magic thing that will save us all from certain doom!'

'What's this about certain doom?' Pearl walked onstage to say.

'Oh, nothing. How are you doing, Pearlie?'

'I'm doing great! Hey, have you heard about Dr Evil coming to find us?'

'Yeah, it's not good. Should we stop him?'

'Good idea! I'll go and tell everyone that we're going!' 

'Bye, Pearlie!' 

Grian was left alone on stage, not sure what came next. Backstage, Mumbo was being corralled into entering, running onstage and saying. 

'Hooray!'

'MUMBO IT'S NOT YOUR LINE YET!'

He ran back offstage, and Sellsknight appeared from stage left.

'Hello! I am Sells-knight! I hear you are in need of some equipment for your quest?'

'I am. Can you offer some for my journey?'

'I sure can! In fact, the townspeople packed in advance. Here you go.' He handed over a shulker box. 'Have fun on your travels! And watch out for weirdos on the road. You don't know who you can trust out there...' He walked off, leaving Grian slightly confused, trying to remember what came next. 

'Look! Pearlie's coming back!'

Pearl, who wasn't supposed to come on yet, blinked, confused, before just running onstage. 

'I have stuff! Let's go!' 

And with that, they ran offstage. 

(This chapter is going to be so long)

No one entered the stage for a good few minutes, but there was definitely something happening backstage, a ton of muttering and movement, Scar appearing through the curtains at one point, and eventually a very dishevelled Grian and Pearl ran on for the next scene. 

'How far have we gone?' Grain asked. Pearlie shrugged.

'Not far. The village is just over there.'

'It's already getting dark. We need to stop at a tavern somewhere.' 

'Luckily there's one just over there.' Pearl pointed towards stage left, realised she and Grian would have to push past everyone to get to stage left for their next entrance, and decided to improvise. 'Or the one just over this way.' She ran off stage left, followed by Grian. 

'We need the table and chairs for the bar scene!' Joe called. There was a kerfuffle of action, and soon the stage was set, Cleo and Renvolio onstage, and Grian and Pearl ready to reenter.

'We should be careful in case anyone here is working for Dr Evil.' Grain muttered.

'Yes, you're right! Anyone could be working for Dr Evil. We don't know who is working for him.' 

'I thought you said there would be someone here that could help.' Grian whispered, barely audible.

'Greetings, travellers!' Renvolio interrupted excitedly, striding over to Pearlie and Grain. 'I am the fair Renvolio, I am here to accompany you on your journey across the mountains to where the evil Dr Evil dwells!'