𖧧𖤣Ashtray
Ash's pov:
Me and y/n's relationship was perfect, except the fact that sometimes i get mad so easily and take my anger out on her, yeah that's so bad and i know she deserves a better guy, better than me.
Honestly i love y/n so much i don't care what it takes i would protect her with my life.
She is the love of my life and if she gets hurt then i will blame myself, because i am the only one that should protect her.
I love her the most, she is my future, she sees those little things in me that no one does.
She listens to me, understands me, she does everything to make me feel good, always no matter what.
Last week we were at the party, i took y/n too, because she begged, i was not planning to, but i couldn't resist.
It was a normal day, i sold drugs and week with my brother Fez, i also kept my other eye on y/n, she was with Maddy and her friends having fun, i chuckled, i loved seeing her happy.
I probably sound like a maniac but i would kill for her, only for her.
The party was boring as usual, adults and people my age came and bought all of the drugs and weed, jeez have a rest.
Awhile went by me and my nerves getting screwed because of those annoying people.
I suddenly heard a gunshot, i turned pale thinking that y/n got hurt, i searched for her but no signs, i even called her, it turned out that mouse and his rats came for me and Fez, please y/n just don't come here right now, if they see her they would hurt her oh no.
She showed up in that damn moment, she probably didn't recognize mouse and she came right behind me, one of his rat turned and shot y/n in her chest, Fuck.
She fainted immediately but i was quick to catch her, i didn't know how to feel, it felt like someone snatched a part of my soul out of me..
It is not happening right?
Goosebumps were quick to show up on my body, i felt like i couldn't move, i froze, tears started to fall out of my eyes, i can't loose her, not right now, i only have her and Fez, she can't leave me like my mom did, she can't!!
If something happens to her than i would blame myself for everything..
A day went by in the hospital and nothing she didn't open her gorgeous eyes..
I held her hand and talked to her, i apologized but i knew that apology would not help.
I managed to protect her from everything but not from myself, it was all because of me.
Fez was crying too they were like a brother and sister, i have never cried even when my mom left, i was a child and i did not cry but now here i am crying nonstop..
Ash: Fez
Fez: Ash how are you bro
Ash: nah do not worry about me how are you
Fez: how i am is not the point right now, what do you think will she wake up today?
Ash: hopefully, i still have hope that she will wake up, but i know this is because of me, if i didn't exist in her life nothing would be wrong with her now, it is my fault, i should have broken up with her to protect her, from me..
Fez: do you even realize what you are sayin now bro?
She always says that you saved her, yes you, and you are out here saying all those dumb stuff, it is not your fault.
Ash: yes it is, and no there is not anything dumb and nonsense in the stuff i am saying now, i will break up with her tomorrow or whenever she wakes up..
When i said this my voice broke..
Fez: what? No you won't
Ash: yes i will and you can't change my mind.
What if something more dangerous happens to her, what if s-she, what if she...
I couldn't even finish the sentence
Ash: then what will i do huh? I will never recover from that, and you know it damn well.
After our conversation a doctor came up to us and told us she woke up, i rushed in her room, when i saw her, she looked pale..
I sat next to her to talk about the most painful subject for me, i knew that she would break..
Ashtray: y/n first of all i am so sorry that this happened to you, i think it would be batter for us to take a break or break up..
Y/n: what..
Tears started to form in her eyes.. god please help me to finish this.
Ash: y/n let me finish
Y/n: absolutely not!
Ash: y/n you do not understand! it is not easy for me either, but it is my fault, look at you, if it was not me than neither of this would have happened!
You deserve someone better y/n.
Y/n: no ash don't do this to me, no no no, you are the one that doesn't understand, without you i am no one, you are the one who protects me, please Ash, please..
Her voice broke she couldn't even finish
Ash: you sure?
Y/n: yes! come and hug me right now.
I went to her and hugged her, this was one week ago and we had never been so close you know, yeah we had the best relationship but it was way better now..
I love her and i know she loves me..
I will never break up with her and i will always protect her with my life.
