So Much More (Book One in the Enough Series)

19. Truth

Reed

I ran out onto the field when the announcer called my name. I waved, put on that fake smile, and ran to line up with my teammates.

"Put it out of your head for the next ninety minutes," Bennett instructed. I gave him a nod, then turned my attention across the field from us. Usually, the crowd blends together for me, but for some reason, today, I immediately spotted Brynn. My heart started to break into pieces like my phone as I saw her, saw Eden. She turned away from Brynn and started walking up the steps toward the concourse. She knew now, and I lost her. I fucking lost her.

I wanted to punch something; I wanted to scream. I fucked up so badly. I clenched my jaw as we prepared for the start of the game. I got into position on the field, but mentally I was chasing after Eden. For the first ten minutes of the game, I continued to fuck up. I was clumsy on my feet, missing passes left and right. Then, as Bennett rushed passed me, he shouted at me to "get it together." A player on the opposing team heard him and smirked, calling back, "Yea, Sawyer, get it together."

Anger instantly washed over me, and I immediately made it my mission to knock him on his ass. It didn't take long before I could do that; my legs out toward the ball just happened to take him down as well. As expected, I got a yellow card thrown at me, the first one in my soccer career. Coach wasn't too happy with me, and he let me know as much. I paced up and down the sidelines, hands on hips, watching the spot where Brynn had been sitting. Now that the game was going, it appeared she and Tate had left as well. I hoped they were with Eden, checking on her and giving her whatever she needed right then.

"Channel that energy for the game, dude; come on." Bennett smacked me on the back, running off into position once my time was up. I followed him out onto the field. I funneled the aggression I was feeling and plowed around the field. I wasn't playing a clean game for the first time, and I didn't care. I had opportunities to score, but I felt I didn't deserve that right now. I set up Bennett and my other teammates as often as I could, and thankfully they responded. After the half, we were up by three points.

When the game was over, we filed off into the locker room. As we all sat, wiping sweat and beginning to strip ourselves of our gear, Coach gave us his post-game wrap-up. I did my best to listen, especially when he called me out on my shit game. Eden was all I could think about, though, the thought of her hearing my name announced and the confusion she must have felt. The disgust she must have felt. In our conversations, she had mentioned several times that lying was a major issue for her, she had a hard time trusting, and here I went and completely blew any trust we had established right out the fucking water.

I stripped down as fast as I could and hit the shower. I scrubbed my body and hair more quickly than ever, toweling off the second I got back to my locker.

"What's got you in a hurry?" Bennett asked, coming out of the shower as well.

"I need to get to Eden, to talk to her."

"Oh fuck, she knows?" He asked with surprise in his eyes.

"Yes! She was here! She was in the fucking stands!" I growled.

"That's what your deal was, damn. I didn't know what was up. Well, now what?" He asked as he began dressing.

"Now I'm going to find her and beg for her to at least let me explain. I can't even bring myself to ask her to forgive me; I don't blame her if she chooses not to. I at least want to be able to explain myself, though." I sighed, lacing up my shoes and then throwing my things into my bag.

"Media!!" Someone called out across the locker room. I looked over at Bennett, shaking my head.

"Dude, you got to get it together, or you're going to lose your spot before we even get the season in full swing." He walked away, touseling his hair with the towel as he headed toward the media room. It was expected of us to do any interviews, and I knew as a starting player and having drawn a yellow card, they would want to speak with me. I took a deep breath, sucking it up and following along. I couldn't wait to get this over with and get to Eden, I knew she most likely wouldn't speak to me, but I had to try.

"For the first time in your career, you drew a yellow card. Any comments on that?" One of the reporters shouted at me.

"Just a mistake, no harm meant. An intense game being the first of the season, first a new stadium and then starting." I shrugged.

"Is that why you seemed to be a little off? You had multiple attempts to score, yet you passed off to Hayes or Hintz."

"I definitely made some mistakes tonight. I let people down, let the team down, and let her down. I'm truly sorry for that, and I can only promise to be prepared and ready for the next game."

"Her? Who is her you're speaking about?"

"Is there a woman in your life?"

"How's your Father? It was reported you missed the last week of training due to his illness?"

The reporters were firing questions at me non-stop. Fortunately, the team media specialist jumped in and sent me on my way, not having to answer anything else. I didn't even realize I had said 'let her down until the reporter pointed it out.

I stalked back to the locker room, grabbing up my bag. Bennett was already heading out toward the parking lot, so I jogged to catch up to him.

"Since you're the wise one now, what do I do? Just go to her door and fall to my knees?" I panted.

"Why are you asking me?" He laughed. "You haven't listened to anything else I've told you."

"I've tried! I'm adjusting to my new role as the screw up in this friendship." I teased back.

"I have never been the screw-up." Bennett paused for a moment, looking at me. "Okay, yes, I've been the screw-up. See how hard it is?" Bennett threw his bag into the back of his truck, turning to face me.

"It's exhausting. No wonder you're always cranky."

"Fuck you." He laughed. "Now, go get your girl. Go beg for her to listen to your dumbass."

"You think it'll work?" I asked, feeling the anxiety coming over me.

"Nope. But it's a start."

"Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome!" He yelled as he crawled up in the truck before starting the engine.

As I drove toward Eden's apartment, I begged the heavens above to help me here. Whatever this was, what I felt with Eden wasn't like anything I'd ever felt. If I lost her for good, well, I had a feeling it would haunt me the rest of my life.