Lies, Deceptions, And Misunderstandings

35. Excitement And Confusion

Early the next morning, extremely early, before the sun has even began to light the horizon early, Taylor suddenly awakened. His heart pounding in his chest, beads of sweat on his brow.

Lying in the darkness, he opened his eyes and for a moment, didn't know where he was. Fear washed over him until his brain told him he was in his bed.

Well, his bed for now, he told himself. It was just the guest bedroom, but Carissa kept calling it, "Taylor's room." He knew it was only temporary until Craig got well and left the hospital so they could return to their own home.

Speaking of Craig, he's part of the reason why Taylor was awake so early this morning.

Taylor stared up at the ceiling, dimly lit up by a little reflected light of a street lamp, filtered through the curtains over the window across the room.

What am I doing, he mentally asked himself, before starting to recall bits and pieces of the disturbing dream that had startled him awake. He wanted to try to revisit the dream and figure out what had him waking up in a panic and why Craig was so heavily on his mind at the moment.

The dream had been about the events of the previous day at the bowling center, and as he tried to remember the details, he discovered some of those details weren't at all what had actually happened.

In his mind, Taylor saw the claw machine, and the stuffed bear being held by the silver claw, the same stuffed bear that now lay tucked into the covers next to him. He rolled over and wrapped an arm around it as he continued to recount the dream.

The bear dropped into the prize chute and came to rest behind a plexiglass door at the front of the machine, waiting to be retrieved by its new owner.

Taylor bent over to retrieve it, and was acutely aware of Johnny pressed up against him from behind, with his arms around Taylor's waist. Just as Taylor made contact with the bear, Johnny pressed his body harder against the pretty girl bent over in front of him.

There was no mistaking the hardness Taylor could feel against the crack of his rear, which was now uncomfortably close to Johnny's manhood, since he had taken off his uniform pants on the ride over to the bowling alley, leaving only the skirt and a thin pair of panties.

He suddenly got a visual in his mind, in the dream. He shook his head, trying to erase the image of Johnny's erect manhood, as if his mind were an etch-a-sketch and the image would immediately fade from existence.

Of course it didn't, and Taylor continued to see an image of Johnny's pants being stretched by his tiny erect male instrument of urination, which was now being ever so slightly rubbed up and back down against Taylor's rear.

Johnny let out a subtle moan and whispered, "You like that, don't'cha?"

Taylor was mortified. The subtle up and down movement had caused his skirt to ride up, so now the only thing between him and Johnny was the thin material of his panties. Fear paralyzed him when he felt Johnny's hands began to slowly slide down from his waist, towards his crotch.

Lying in the bed, still recalling the details of the dream, Taylor's body froze up, paralyzed in fear, when he realized he was feeling arousal. Why, he wondered, why was his own body betraying him like that and why was he having these factually incorrect memories?

Holding the stuffed bear in his hands, Taylor stood back upright and immediately moved several steps away, into an unlit area between the claw machine and a wall. In the process, removing himself from Johnny's arms.

Johnny quickly stepped forward after Taylor, and Taylor immediately spun himself around to face Johnny. With a big grin on both their faces, they quickly pressed their bodies against one another and locked lips, in a passionate embrace.

Unlike what had really happened, in the dream Taylor wasn't at all shocked, but instead excited by what was now happening. With his heart pounding in his chest and his body temperature rising, he continued to kiss Johnny, completely enraptured by an excitement that came from the thought of Johnny having no clue the pretty girl he was kissing wasn't who he thought she was. Nor did he know that he was treating her exactly like the girl she longed to be.

Taylor knew his pants were being stretched tight exactly the same way Johnny's were and this caused another feeling. He wasn't afraid of Johnny discovering his secret, instead, at that moment, the thought of Johnny discovering that his girlfriend had something extra as they began to press against each other, actually excited him.

Suddenly, a voice rang out from behind Johnny.

"Taylor! What the hell are you doing! "

It was Craig.

Johnny instantly dropped his hold on Taylor and moved away, fearful that Taylor's older adult brother was about to punch him. He took off towards the bathrooms at the other end of the center, leaving Taylor to face his brother alone.

"Well," Craig impatiently asked, waiting for an explanation.

Tears began to well up in Taylor's eyes as he threw his arms around his brother's waist and hugged him tight.

"I - I don't know why I did that ... I - I'm confused. I - I - I'm not gay, Craig. Tell me I'm not gay. What's happening to me."

Craig placed his hands on the back of Taylor's head and sighed.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, Taylor, this is all my fault." Craig began apologizing. "If it weren't for me and my lustful desires, you would never have found yourself in this position. I'm so sorry. Let's get you home and out of those girl clothes. You'll never have to wear them again. I'm sorry for putting you in this situation. I never should have let it go this long."

Craig began to lead Taylor across the bowling center, towards the front entrance.

But what if I think I wanna wear them? How do I tell him without destroying our relationship? Taylor asked himself as he followed his brother into the parking lot.

Thinking about the situation and how he might be able to convince his brother to let him continue to live as a girl, Taylor asked, "What about football? I don't want to quit the team, but when they find out I'm not the girl they thought I was, I won't be able to continue playing. It'll be a disaster. I can't just show up to practice and say, 'surprise, I'm a boy' ...."

Lying in the darkness, the dream faded away as Taylor tried to recall more details, but that's all there was. He could go back to details earlier in the dream, details that intrigued him, details that confused him because they made him curious and dare he admit it, physically excited, but he wasn't about to figure out why Craig was at the bowling center in his dream, or what happened next.