Battered

Chspter 47

Withdrawing from the hug, the startled look in Cheryl's eyes tells me that she knows I've noticed the aftershave, "It's not what you think Kim, honestly." she babbles nervously, tears forming in her eyes as I stare at her in disbelief.

"Not what I think? I'm thinking that for my girlfriend to come home smelling of aftershave, she must have been getting pretty close to someone who wears it."

Getting up from the sofa, I go over to stand by the window, needing to put a bit of distance between me and Cheryl before asking, "Is there someone else?"

"Please babe, I can explain" she cries, a few tears rolling down her face as she tries to compose herself, "I got off work early and decided to stop by the new shelter on my way home to speak to Josh. I still hadn't gotten back to him about the volunteering thing so I dropped by to tell him that I couldn't do it; that it's too soon after Ashley."

"I still felt bad about letting him down so when he offered me a cup of tea and a tour of the place I couldn't say no. We were talking in the living room when he started flirting with me and before I knew what was happening, he leaned in to kiss me. I didn't want him to, I swear."

"Did you kiss him back?"

Cheryl stays quiet, looking down to the floor and that's when my own tears start to fall.

"Did you?" I ask again.

"Not at first" she answers quietly.

Bringing a hand up to my mouth in shock, I fight to choke back a sob, "Why?"

"I don't know...I wasn't thinking and it just happened."

"You weren't thinking?!" I shout, voice cracking as I lose control of my emotions, "You must have known that he liked you? He was all over you at that party last month."

"I'm so sorry babe" Cheryl says, standing up and coming over to me, "It didn't mean anything" she reaches out to touch my face but I quickly take a step backwards, not wanting to be comforted by her right now.

Not knowing what to say, I wipe my tears on the sleeve of my pyjama top and turn away from her, heading towards the kitchen, "I need a drink."

Part of me is glad when she doesn't follow after me.

******************************

Waking up alone in the guest bedroom the next morning is weird. For a second I forget where I am, confused by the unfamiliar surroundings but then everything comes back to me and I sigh tiredly as I replay the previous night's events in my mind.

Cheryl had already gone up to bed when I'd eventually come out of the kitchen and, needing some space to think things over, I'd chosen to sleep in the spare room. Although I don't think I actually managed to get any sleep at all.

I know we have a lot of talking to do but just spending the night without her was enough to convince me that, despite what happened with Josh, Cheryl is still who I want to be with. I love her more than I've ever loved anybody and, although it might take me a little while to get over it, I'm not going to let one silly little kiss ruin what we have.

After having a quick shower, I get changed and head downstairs, hoping to see Cheryl before I have to leave for work. She wasn't in the bedroom earlier so naturally I expect to find her in the kitchen, but she isn't there either.

"Cheryl?"

After checking the living room, I go back into the kitchen and that's when I spot the note pinned on the refrigerator door.

Kimba,

Think it's probably best for both of us if we have a little time apart.

I'm sorry

Cheryl xxx

Completely shocked and too numb to cry, I carefully fold the note in half and tuck it into my pocket before grabbing my coat and bag and going to work.

***************************************

"Are you alright?" Nadine asks, coming over to sit on the end of my desk.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I answer, a little defensively.

"Because you've been on auto-pilot all day," she says, "and we've been friends long enough for me to know when there's something wrong."

Unable to keep it in any longer, I burst into tears and tell Nadine the whole story from start to finish; how Josh had flirted with Cheryl at the party. How he'd asked her about doing some volunteer work at the shelter.

How she stopped by last night to let him down gently but felt obligated to stay when he offered her a drink. How she didn't push him away when he kissed her.

How she kissed him back, and how she was gone this morning when I woke up.

Nadine passes me a box of tissues and I smile gratefully through my tears, "I don't even know where she is." I sniff, dabbing at my eyes, "She just left."

"Have you tried calling her?" she asks.

"Of course I have," I sigh exasperatedly, "but she's switched her phone off."

"Look, why don't you get off home?" Nadine suggests, getting up and going to sit back on her chair, "You're in no fit state to work and I wouldn't mind betting that Cheryl's come back so you guys can talk this whole thing out."

"I hope so" I say quietly, "I really hope so."

Going over to kiss Nadine goodbye, I leave the office and head out to the car park. Driving home is a bit of a blur, the only thing I'm focused on is seeing Cheryl and what I'm going to say to her.

My door keys are already in my hand when I get out of the car and I quickly let myself into the house, calling out Cheryl's name as I step inside. When there is no answer, I drop my handbag onto the hallway table and sit down on the stairs with a sigh.

All I can do now is wait.

************************************

A persistent grumbling from my stomach reminds me that I haven't had any dinner yet but despite the mild hunger pains, food is the last thing on my mind. It's gotten dark outside and I know I've been sat on the stairs in the hallway for a good few hours now; staring at the front door in the hope that Cheryl will walk through it.

But she doesn't and the feeling of not knowing where she is or what she's doing makes my chest tighten uncomfortably. I wish she'd just call or text to let me know she's safe because all this worrying is making me go insane. Part of me wants to call Joan to find out if Cheryl has gone up to Newcastle but I quickly decide against it because I don't want to panic her if Cheryl isn't there.

Pushing myself up from the step I'm sat on, I turn around and walk upstairs; going into the bedroom and changing into my nightwear before getting into bed. The sheets still smell of Cheryl and I move over onto her side of the bed, wanting to feel close to her in some small way.

Reaching out to pick up my phone from the bedside table, I quickly write out and send a goodnight text to Cheryl's phone, asking her to please get in touch and telling her that I love her. I've tried ringing her mobile several times since arriving home from work but it is still switched off.

Even so, I take comfort in the fact that my message will reach her when she does eventually decide to turn her phone back on, and hopefully it will convince her to come home.