Battered

Chapter 50

Standing outside the shelter, my finger hovers over the doorbell for a few seconds before I finally work up the nerve to press it.

Last night after we left the club, Nicola somehow managed to convince me to wait until this morning before coming to see Cheryl, and while I completely agree with her reasoning that the both of us need to have a clear head when we sit down and talk, a little bit of liquid courage would have come in very handy right now.

The front door opens and a smiling Nicola comes into view, "Didn't change your mind then." she says, stepping aside so that I can come in.

A full length mirror hangs on one of the walls in the hallway and I pause in front of it to run my fingers through my hair. When I'm satisfied with my appearance, I turn to Nicola and ask, "Does Cheryl know I'm coming?"

"I might have mentioned that she would be getting a visitor at some point today" she grins playfully.

Despite my nerves, I can't help but smile back at her, "Is she upstairs then?" I ask.

Nicola shakes her head, "Kitchen." she says, glancing over my shoulder and then down at her watch, "I've got to be at court in an hour so I better run. Call me later ok?"

"Yeah, ok." I agree, watching as Nicola picks up her coat and walks out the door. After giving myself one last glance in the mirror, I take a deep breath and head towards the kitchen.

The radio is on low and the smell of toast and eggs fills the air as I walk down the corridor. The kitchen door is half open and Cheryl is stood at the cooker making breakfast. I notice that there are two plates on the side but she is the only one in the room.

Knocking lightly on the kitchen door, I try my best to hold back a smile when Cheryl jumps slightly at the sound; turning towards me.

"Can I come in?" I ask.

She gives a slight nod of the head before turning her attention back to the food, "I made you some breakfast" she says quietly, watching out the corner of her eye as I come in and sit down at the table, "but if you've already eaten or you're not hungry..."

"No, I'm starving" I quickly interrupt, cutting her off mid-ramble, "You didn't have to go to all this trouble though."

Cheryl shrugs her shoulders, "I needed to do something to keep my hands busy. I was...uh...a little nervous when Nic told me you were coming round."

"I was a little nervous myself" I admit, looking up into her eyes and giving a small smile.

She smiles back at me and brings the plates of toast and scrambled eggs over to the table, carefully setting them down before taking a seat opposite me.

"Thank you, this looks delicious." I tell her, picking up my fork and tucking in.

We eat in silence but having the radio on provides a bit of background noise and stops it from becoming too uncomfortable. As soon as the last mouthful of food had been finished, Cheryl gets to her feet and sets about putting the empty plates into the sink.

It's obvious that she's trying to avoid the conversation that we so desperately need to have and, not quite knowing where to start myself, I go over to the sink and pick up a tea towel; silently working alongside her to dry the dishes that she's washing up.

"I've missed you." I whisper softly after a few minutes, giving a quick sideways glance in her direction.

"I missed you too." she says back, her voice full of emotion.

Putting down the plate that I'm holding, I turn to face Cheryl and ask, "Why didn't you tell me about what happened with Josh?"

She closes her for a second and shakes her head, "I couldn't." she sighs, "I just felt so guilty and confused. He convinced me that I'd been leading him on and that, deep down, I wanted it. But I didn't. I didn't want any of it but for some reason, when he kissed me, I started to kiss him back and I honestly don't know why..."

Tears begin to flow down Cheryl's cheeks and she quickly covers her face with her hands before turning away from me. Taking a tentative step towards her, I wrap my arms loosely around Cheryl's waist and embrace her from behind, feeling the way her body tenses up in surprise and then relaxes against me.

"I'm so sorry Kimba" she sobs, her words muffled by the hands in front of her face.

Gently turning her around, I take hold of Cheryl's hands and move them away from her face so I can look at her properly, "It's alright" I tell her, still holding onto her hands.

She opens her mouth to say something but I quickly cut her off, "Cheryl it wasn't your fault, ok? He took advantage of you."

Cheryl looks down to the ground and wipes away the last of her tears, "But I..." she starts.

"And it doesn't matter that you kissed him back for like two or three seconds, because he was messing with your head and I understand how confused you must have been. The only thing that worries me is that you couldn't talk to me about it."

"I know" she sighs heavily, "and I'm really sorry that I didn't."

"Babe, it's not a case of you being sorry." I explain, bringing up a hand to touch her cheek, "Things aren't going to work out between us if we can't talk to each other. I need you to be open with me and tell me if something's on your mind. I need to know what's going on in that head of yours."

Covering my hand with hers, Cheryl nods her head in agreement and looks deep into my eyes before asking, "Can you come upstairs with me for a minute? There's something I want to show you."

"Ok" I answer uncertainly, allowing her to lead me out of the kitchen, down the hallway and up the stairs to her room.

Taking a seat on the bed, I watch as Cheryl opens the drawer of the bedside cupboard and rummages through it, obviously looking for something. While she is busy searching for whatever it is, I look around the tiny room and smile when my eyes land on a photo of the two of us that is stood on the dressing table.

It's one of those silly self-taken ones in which half of someone's head always manages to get chopped off, and in this case it's Cheryl's, but nevertheless, it's still a cute photo and my smile widens at the memory of how she'd turned around and kissed me squarely on the lips right after taking it.

"Here it is" Cheryl says, snapping me out of my thoughts. She walks towards me holding her diary and sits down next to me on the bed, "What are you smiling at?" she asks, following my gaze across the room.

"This" I tell her, going over and picking up the picture from its resting place. I come back over to the bed and sit down again, still holding the photo in my hands, "What made you bring this one with you? Surely there are better pictures of us to choose from." I say jokingly.

Cheryl shakes her head, "That's my favourite one of us." she says, looking down at it fondly.

"It is?" I ask disbelievingly, studying the photo more closely.

"Yeah" Cheryl smiles, "because that was the day when I realised that I was in love with you."