Re: Who needs a prince when you're a queen?

Chapter Twenty-four: The schemer as a love guru

"I'm telling you, this always works," I reassured Percival for the nth time as I tugged my hair in frustration.

Percival doubtfully stared at me. "You really think that me staying away from her is a good plan to make her realize? Are you kidding me?"

"It's called a push and pull strategy. It always works . . . "

. . . in novels, at least. But hey, we are still in this fictional world. We are basically in a novel-like situation so in theory, this should go well, right? Thinking back, maybe I shouldn't have been too hasty in doing this. I mean, there's a reason that I did not win a single happy end in the otome games I have played before, right?

Sigh. There's no use in crying over spilt milk now. What's done is done and the best thing to do now is to help this lovesick puppy get the heroine in order for me to live this life with my head intact.

Percival snapped his fingers in front of me, bringing me back to reality. "Hey! Are you even listening?" Impatient for my response, he waved his hands so close to my face.

I slapped his hands out of my sight. "I am listening, so please stop being so annoying," I then crossed my arms. "Also, what did I tell you about not questioning my strategies?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, yeah. I would not be doubting you, except for the fact that your plan makes absolutely no sense."

"What do you know about girls?" I dramatically gasped. Doing my best female lead/timid maiden impression like the one you see in romance animes, I started to do a one-woman show. "Oh, but why does he not stick with me anymore? We used to be together all the times but now, we are so distant." For optimum effect, I even wiped my nonexistent tears with my handkerchief.

"What are you-"

"Hush!" I silenced him with my finger and tried to push him back. The unexpected force made him step backwards and hit the wall behind him. Mimicking the best standard bishounen act I could muster, I did a Kabedon on him- which was kind of unsettling since he was a lot taller than me. In a low voice, I spoke. "I've heard that you have been out of it for the past few weeks. Did you miss me, sunshi-"

I could not finish my sentence because Percival started laughing out loud. He was full on cackling like a hyena on medication that he started clutching his stomach and slipped down to the ground.

"That was the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed!" Percival continued howling in laughter.

With my hands still against the wall, I looked down at the laughing wolf boy and resisted the urge to stomp on him.

"Stop laughing, will you!" I angrily said.

"I can't!" He wiped a tear from his eye.

"I swear in my mother's name that I would hit you so hard you will lose all your canine teeth if you don't stop laughing!"

Percival paused to look up at me for a moment before deciding that my threat was not menacing enough and continued in hysterics. Glaring at him, I also had to ponder that maybe what I did was embarrassing. Okay, I admit it was embarrassing. But, isn't that how these male leads act in fiction? It was cringey but I can assure that no girls in my past life were laughing when their favorite male characters did that.

"Okay, you know what? This is enough already. I am not helping you anymore," I pinched the middle of my forehead at the feel of an impending migraine.