Who Are We?

Chapter Nineteen

Sitting on my bed in my room, listening to the silence that has now filled my life. This house will never be the same without my father's obnoxious laugh or his very inappropriate jokes and comments, but I loved him all the same. The guilt is eating me alive and I can't handle it. I feel as though I want to jump from a very tall building and just die and get it over with, but that won't work because I'm a damn vampire. Doomed to live for all eternity.

I walked away from my bed, after the hours spent crying into a pillow that was unfamiliar to me, and went down the hallway towards his room. I opened the door and stood there in the doorway staring into the space he spent little time in. I could still smell the hint of his cheap cologne that he caked on himself every morning. Not the most pleasant smell, but still something that reminded me of him. Walking into the room I saw that his sheets were still in disarray like they would be some mornings, when he decided to sleep there. It seemed he was still here and would walk through the door any moment screaming hello to anyone who was home, but that would never happen because he was dead and there was nothing I could do about it.

I heard my phone do a text tone from the living room, where I left it to charge, and so I went to see what was going on in the wide cruel world.

Damon: How you holding up?

I read the text and slightly smiled at his concern for me, but it wasn't enough to make me feel any better.

Feeling a little like I want to die, but other than that I'm fine.

I sent back to him. I had to be straight with him because I knew he would see right through any lie I told him. Although I had my emotions back, I was still afraid of feeling anything for him because of Blair, but it was so hard trying to hide it. He made no effort in trying to make everyone believe that he felt nothing for me, which made my situation even worse. I was still weary around him since he compelled my sister to forget any feeling she had for him.

My phone began ringing in my hand. I looked down at the bright screen to see Damon plastered on the top. I contemplated not answering his call, but I knew he would just keep calling and calling and leaving messages until I picked up.

"Hello?" I sighed.

"What's up sunshine?" He joked. It made me smile slightly, but not enough to be convincing.

"I'm miserable if that tells you anything." I sighed once more, despair hiding in between my words. I heard him shuffling on the other end of the phone and I took the phone away from ear, just staring at it. What is he doing?
The doorbell rang and I looked at the door in confusion. "Hang on Damon, someone just rang my doorbell." I said thinking he was still listening to me. I opened the door slowly to peak at who was out there. I didn't see anyone at first, but then a gust of wind went past me. I jumped and then realized who had intruded into my house.

"And this is supposed to help how, Damon?" I asked turning to see him leaning on one of the banisters trying to look attractive.

"I'm going to distract you, that's how its going to help." He smirked. I shook my head at his arrogance.

"Nice try Damon. How did you even get in here? I never invited you in." I quizzed curious how he was able to get inside.

"Arielle, who was the owner of this house?" He asked with a knowing look on his face.

"My-" I stopped mid-sentence, realizing what he was saying. "father." I sighed and walked over to couch and sat down. I grabbed one of the throw pillows and hugged it close my body. I could smell his cologne on the pillow as well. My father liked to sleep anywhere, so mainly the couch became his bed most nights. I really did miss him. "This is all my fault." I quietly said. I felt a tear come down my cheek unannounced.