Forever Bound

Seafood Pasta

Ain't it funny how you don't feel the cut on you knee until you look at it? The gun shot wound doesn't become noticeable until after the characters find somewhere to hide and stop running.

We'll just because I found out I was pregnant, I've been feeling like shit.

I'm experiencing morning sickness, I learn that it wasn't just in the mornings. My breast hurt like hell and I'm craving things I've never eaten in my life.

The news is still only held between Remi and I. The only reason why my family doesn't know yet is because I don't know what I'm doing.

When I tell them, I want to have answers to all of their questions. My energy has been low at work. People ask if I'm okay, and I force a smile and say I am.

But when they leave, my hand goes back to rubbing my stomach. When work is light, or I have a break, I find myself googling stuff about pregnancy. I've been reading books for first time moms, I'm halfway done with the book called 'What to expect when you're expecting'.

Some stuff makes me awe, giving me baby fever, some things terrify me and remind me I shouldn't have a kid, giving me a cure.

Remi has been a big help. She doesn't hover, but she calls and checks in on me. And that is exactly what I need- to be alone to think, but reminded that I'm not alone.

"The appointment is next week," I say as I snack on a blueberry muffin. I hate blueberry stuff, except for pancakes, but here we are. And it's hitting the spot right now.

"So are you going to find him before or after?"

"I don't know..." I take another bite.

"Well...what if he wants to come," Remi hints.

"You think he would?" I ask.

"If he wants the baby," she says, "this is also good because you two can discuss a plan. I mean, you two are strangers. The sooner you guys can get acquainted and trust each other, the better it will be when the baby does come."

"Trust each other..." I repeat in low mumble.

"Mhm," Remi chirps, "don't let it scare you. But when the baby is old enough, you two will have to co-parent. A solid routine for the baby and a strong trustworthy, healthy relationship between the parents will set the pace for how the baby is raised."

I don't say anything for a few seconds.

"Okay, I'll tell him before the appointment. We can also go ahead and knock out the DNA test."

"You're going to do a prenatal test? But we did the math..."

"I'm sure he is going to want one," I scoff, "I know I would. If some chick came three months later crying pregnancy."

Then I smile. "Maybe I should get a test...cause I still can't believe this either."

Remi chuckles. "Yeah, it might come back negative."

"Will you come with me?" I ask seriously.

"Where?

I roll my eyes. "To tell him. If I go by myself, I might not make it through the door."

"Oh," she says, "yeah, anything you need."

"Thanks..."

"What night was that when you went to the bar? He might go there regularly and be there again."

"That was a Saturday," I say, crumbling the paper the muffin was in.

"Then we'll go Saturday, around the same time and break the news."