Second Chances [BxB]

five

A day passed, then a week, then a month.

Sebastian never called.

Declan tried to convince himself that Sebastian had never found the piece of paper that he slipped into his pocket.

But he knew that that wasn't true.

The truth was that Sebastian simply didn't want him.

That was okay. Declan forced himself to believe that that was okay. One night stands didn't mean anything, after all - they were just a way to engage in meaningless sex with strangers.

Just because everything had felt different with Sebastian, it didn't mean that anything was different.

Sebastian was the same as everyone else, and that was okay, because so was Declan.

So, Declan tried to forget about Sebastian. He slept with as many people as he could - strictly girls, because he refused to step foot in the same gay nightclub where he had met Sebastian. The sex was good. He would moan loudly, and so would the girl, and sometimes they would even stay the night. They never stayed for breakfast, though. And for an entire month, Declan ate nothing but toast and cereal.

He felt himself retreating into the same hole he had tried so desperately to climb out of last time. Food tasted bland, and smiles were hard to conjure, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He didn't leave his apartment much, and he missed work so many times that he was close to losing his job. He tried calling his parents but they never answered. Sometimes, he would get so frustrated that he would throw his phone across the room.

His phone was broken, and he hadn't bothered getting it fixed. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

There was a knock on his door.

Declan ignored it.

Another knock.

Declan buried his face into his pillow.

"Dec, I swear to fucking to god, if you don't open this door, I'm gonna break it down."

Declan sat bolt upright, "Mickey?"

"Let me in." Mickey demanded.

Declan stumbled out of bed, trying to flatten his messy unwashed hair as he crossed his cramped apartment. He was in the same pair of pyjamas he had been wearing all week, and he knew he probably smelt, but Mickey had seen him worse. He had helped him through worse.

As soon as the door opened, Mickey tackled him into a hug, nearly knocking him over.

"Fucking hell." Declan groaned, wrapping his arms loosely around Mickey's waist. But Declan didn't pull away. It felt good. Affection for the sake of affection. There was no ulterior motive when Mickey hugged him. He was touching him merely to touch him.

Mickey broke the hug first, pulling away to hold Declan at arms length, "Sorry for threatening to break down your door." He said apologetically, "I was worried."

"Sorry." Declan mumbled, glancing down at his mismatched socks. He didn't have an explanation. He was just sorry.

"Why haven't you answered any of my calls?" Mickey asked carefully.

"My phone's broken."

"Why haven't you gotten it fixed?"

"I'm getting to it."

"I missed you."

Declan glanced up, his eyes catching Mickey's dark brown ones. It was no wonder Declan had spent his life in his best friend's shadow. Mickey was everything he could never be. He was kind, and he was generous, and he was so unbelievably earnest. He had light brown skin, and a tight afro that framed his face. He was wearing rings, and nail polish, and a bracelet River had given him for his birthday. Declan felt, for the first time in weeks, the desire to get dressed into some real clothes.