Second Chances [BxB]

nineteen

Sebastian stared down at the number in front of him.

Felix's number.

Declan had sent it to him, and part of Sebastian wished that he hadn't. Wished that Declan had kept it, or hidden it, or maybe even deleted it.

Sebastian almost considered deleting it himself. Hearing Felix's voice again would only rip open old scars, and turn them into wounds again. He wasn't ready. He was still too raw, too tender, too scared.

It had been three years.

It still felt like yesterday.

"Hey, Steel." Lucky murmured quietly.

"No, no, no, don't say that." Sebastian begged. "Not Steel. Not to you. Please, Blue."

"You said you'd slit my throat if I ever called you Sebastian. You don't remember?"

"That was before." Sebastian whispered. "It's not like you ever listened anyway."

"I don't want to talk about this." Lucky decided bluntly. "I don't want to talk about anything. I didn't come here to sort things out. I'm only here because I need my bed back."

"Felix, you have to hear me out-"

"Don't call me that!" He snapped. "I'm not Felix, or Blue, or Alex. I'm Lucky. Okay?"

Sebastian flinched and nodded slowly, "Of course." He whispered.

"You're high." Lucky spat, realisation finally dawning on him.

Sebastian gulped, digging his fingers into his messy curls, his last conversation with Felix still ringing through his ears. He wondered if they had a happy ending in another universe, or if they were always doomed to fail, to crash and burn, to destroy themselves and each other. They were a mistake in every universe. Sebastian knew that now.

With shaking hands, he typed Felix's number into his phone.

It rung once.

Twice-

"Hello?"

"Felix?" Sebastian choked out, the air evaporating from his lungs.

There was silence, and then, finally, "Sebastian?"

"Yeah." Sebastian gulped, "Yeah, it's me."

"Holy shit." Felix huffed a short laugh, "I never thought I'd hear your voice again."

Sebastian smiled softly, "Yeah, I didn't think you would either."

"Who's Declan?"

Sebastian froze, because out of all the questions Felix could have asked him, that one he had not expected.

"Sorry." Felix laughed again, "That was..." He cleared his throat, and the humour left his voice, "There's so many things I wanna ask you, I don't know why that came out first."

"Declan's a friend." Sebastian said, his eyes falling shut, and his hand balling into a fist. He hated describing Declan that way - he was so much more to him than that. But Declan didn't want to be anything but a friend to Sebastian, and Sebastian had to learn to accept that.

"Oh." Felix breathed out, "I thought... Never mind."

Sebastian sighed, "Are you...?" He hesitated, because his emotions were too big for words that were so small, "How are you, Felix?"

"Good. Great." He said cheerfully, "Life is...better...than it was." He confessed, "What about you?" He asked, and Sebastian didn't miss the hint of concern in his voice.