Second Chances [BxB]

thrity five

"Shit." Sebastian hissed, frantically rummaging through his suitcase, "Oh, fucking—"

"What?" Declan propped himself up on his elbows, a little disorientated, "What is it?"

Sebastian shot him a sheepish smile, "Please tell me you brought condoms."

"You forgot them?" Declan frowned, "Seb—"

"Hey, we both forgot them—"

"It's your responsibility—"

"Why is it my responsibility?"

Declan groaned miserably, collapsing back onto the mattress to stare up at the ceiling. He was half dressed, with flushed cheeks, and a trail of love bites on his chest. His head was fuzzy, and his pulse was throbbing erratically.

"Sorry, darling." Sebastian sighed, flopping down beside him, and pressing an apologetic kiss to Declan's cheek.

Declan rolled his head to the side, his eyes meeting Sebastian's, "Y'know, we could still..."

"Without a condom?"

Declan smiled bashfully, "You're the only person I've slept with since my last screening, which means if you're clean, so am I." He placed a hand on Sebastian's chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath his fingertips, "And since neither of us are planning on sleeping with anyone else..."

"Are you sure?" Sebastian asked cautiously.

"What's stopping us?"

Sebastian's heartbeat quickened under Declan's palm, and his pupils dilated with desire, "Nothing's stopping us." He whispered, before pushing Declan onto his back, and closing the distance between their lips.

Declan kissed him back, wrapping his legs around Sebastian's waist, and drawing him in.

He was terrified.

He had never forgone protection before.

He had never trusted anyone enough before.

He was giving Sebastian so much of himself, and he wondered whether it was dangerous, whether he was getting too comfortable, too vulnerable. Maybe he needed to stop himself before he did something stupid, like saying something he couldn't take back, something like 'I love you'.

"Dec?"

"Hm?"

Sebastian was staring down at him, brown curls dipping into Declan's face, "You okay?" He asked softly. Their bodies were pressed together, and Declan was itching for friction, but he was paralysed with fear. "You sort of just...froze up."

"Sorry." Declan muttered.

"What's up?" Sebastian asked, rolling off of Declan, and sitting up, his eyes filled with concern, "Whatever's on your mind, you can tell—"

"Stop." Declan groaned, sinking back into the pillow, "You keep telling me that it's okay, that I can talk to you, but I...I know that, Seb. You've made that clear. You don't need to keep reminding me." He didn't know why he wanted an argument; he supposed because it was better than the alternative, which involved too much honesty, and too much vulnerability.

Sebastian frowned, "I was just trying to reassure you—"

"Well, don't." Declan snapped.

"Did I do something wrong?" Sebastian jolted back, as if wounded, "Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like..." He paused, seemingly frustrated, before shaking his head dismissively.

"Go on." Declan goaded, "How am I acting, Sebastian?"