Second Chances [BxB]

twenty seven

A week after Sebastian left rehab for the third time, he attended an NA meeting, and someone asked him about his future. He stared at them as if they were mad. 'I don't have one', he nearly said.

Sebastian was just killing time. He was just waiting to relapse. Waiting to go back to rehab. Waiting for everything to fall apart again. There was no point building a life, because he would inevitably destroy it.

So, he just kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

But he didn't relapse. And he didn't go back to rehab.

His Dad hired him, and he met Harvey, and he eventually moved out of his childhood home. He smiled, and he learnt to laugh, and he listened to music, and he remembered how to enjoy things. He started living again, for the first time in years.

And yet, he still refused to think about his future, because despite how much progress he had made, he never managed to convince himself that he had a future. He was still waiting. Waiting for something that would never happen.

But as he stared down at the ring in his hand, a flicker of hope flared up inside him. After years of struggling to see anything beyond the here and the now, he thought that he could see something stretching out in front of him. A future.

"You're not planning to propose, are you?" Harvey teased, nudging Sebastian in the side playfully, "Because for a first date, that might be a little-"

"Shut up." Sebastian rolled his eyes, slipping the ring into his pocket, "It's a birthday present."

"His birthday was last week." Harvey reminded him unhelpfully as he pushed through the glass doors, stepping out of the jewellery shop, and back into the mall.

"I know." Sebastian said frustratedly, "I didn't get him anything."

"You didn't know it was his-"

"I should've." He countered, "I should've known."

Harvey sighed, shaking his head incredulously, "You're ridiculous."

Sebastian hadn't seen Declan for an entire week - Sebastian worked days, and Declan had been asked to work nights, so their schedules hadn't lined up. It had been one of the longest weeks of Sebastian's life. He had contemplated showing up to the diner just to lay his eyes on Declan, to check that he was okay, that he was alive.

Their last conversion had been playing on a loop in his head for the past seven days.

'I've always been yours. I've been yours from the moment we met.'

No matter how hard he tried, Sebastian hadn't been able shake Declan's words. They demanded to be heard, over and over again.

He had started replaying their first conversation, too.

'Can I buy you a drink?'

'Already got one.'

'Right. Do you wanna buy me a drink instead?'

Sebastian and Declan's first date was in just a few hours, and Sebastian was as excited as he was terrified.

"C'mon." Harvey grabbed his wrist and dragged him into a shop they were passing, "I'm gonna find you an outfit to wear tonight."

Sebastian froze, snatching his wrist out of Harvey's hand, "No." He said firmly.

Harvey crossed his arms over his chest disapprovingly, "You have nothing to wear-"

"Dec's not gonna care about what I-"

"This is your first real date with him, Seb!" Harvey protested, "You can't just show up in that raggedy old sweater you wear every bloody day." He scolded, "I won't allow it."