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All deception requires secrecy

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All deception requires secrecy

- Sissela Bok

Reva

Propping my chin on my arm, which was resting on the back of the couch, I focused my gaze out the window. It had already been raining all day and yet the clouds didn't seem to have shed everything they carried. Maybe it was the arrival of spring, which had a mind of its own.

Not that I minded, because I loved the rain as much as anything that was caramel and smelled like roses. I always imagined it was because I was named after it.

Reva - a name my mother had chosen for me because I was born during heavy rainfall. Perhaps another reason why I subconsciously felt most comfortable when it was raining cats and dogs.

Sadly, she died a few days after I was born, so I never had the opportunity to find out if she liked the rain as much as I did. Dad would tell me about her from time to time and frankly, it felt like I actually knew her.

We didn't talk about her often because I always saw dad's eyes get sad, so most of the time I saved him the pain of having to reminisce about her. There was no doubt that he loved her deeply because he never looked at another woman after she died.

I would have had no problem with that, because all I wanted was to see him happy, and to become a widower at such a young age, with a daughter who was only a few days old, had logically not been easy for him.

But I could see the spark in his now aging eyes whenever he spoke of her. And with the pictures of her smiling face hanging on the walls, I could see dad's narrative reflect perfectly on her as a person.

She had had light brown hair that contrasted with her almost black eyes. I had a few of her features, but I got my gray eyes from my father. In all her pictures she had the same smile - young and carefree, a little shy sometimes when dad was also in the shot, smiling at her.

I sighed under my breath. The memories recounted always made me picture myself being there. I fantasized about how I stood by as a third person and witnessed their happiness. But it would always remain that - a fantasy.

I loved the rain, but sometimes it made me feel down, which I didn't like. In the background to all the thoughts buzzing in my head, I heard the pitter-patter of the raindrops as they hit the window pane and watched them roll down that I didn't even notice the door to my room open.

It wasn't until the approaching footsteps got louder that I jumped slightly and saw Sophia smiling in my direction until she stopped, having caught my attention.

"I didn't hear you come in," I said as I turned away from the window and sat up straight.

She brought her hands up to chest level and formed them into sentences. I knocked, but you didn't hear. Dinner is ready. she announced.

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