To Love A Myth: Book 3 - Mr. Higgs and the Clan🎩

6

Higgs watched Merida as she spoke about the sad demise of Gretchen. He felt bad for her but for him there was a greater need of an answer for something else entirely.

"Do you..." Merida turned to him. "I..."

"I'm exhausted. I'd like to go to bed, milaird."

He didn't really say anything as she walked past him and he watched her go. When she was gone, a horrible sense of dread came over him. He began to shake and Edgar knelt down in front of him.

"Mr. Higgs-"

"You said she wouldn't hate me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"Then why did she run from me?"

Edgar sighed. "Remember how I said that good people don't want to see other people suffer?" Higgs nodded. "It's the same here. Merida can be really harsh but she's empathetic to a fault. It's killing her to know... all she can imagine is how much pain you're in."

"I don't want pity."

"She doesn't pity you at all. She loves you and me, the two most important people in her life."

"If I was so important then why did she leave me there with that fate?" he spat, suddenly angry, although slightly confused. "You say she loves me, that I'm important; then why did this have to happen?! If she had come then things wouldn't have gone so far!"

"Is that how ye feel?"

Edgar turned as Merida watched them from the hallway.

"I thought you-"

"Couldnae stand it." She said, walked up in front of Higgs and crossing her arms. "Say it now. Say yer peace and yer anger."

"Merida-"

"Hush ye. He has a right to voice how he feels. Higgs Northumberly, say what ye need to say to me." She said, not sounding angry at all.

Higgs didn't want her near him but he did. He wanted her to hold him, tell him he was fine, but he couldn't trust her. This overwhelming feeling of guilt and resentment just angered him because he couldn't figure out what he wanted from her. He clenched his fists angrily.

"Get back." He growled. Merida took a step back from him. "You... you... you left me there, you bitch!" He screamed. "I trusted you and you didn't come! I had so much faith in you and you just left me there with that demon! You knew and yet... and yet..." He put his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. "Why didn't you come?! If I could have escaped on my own, I would have, but surely my being gone had to have tipped you off? I heard nary of you ever trying to find me after that first night. I tried to be strong, but she did so many underhanded things and I just... I couldn't... no matter how hard I tried! But all I could think about was seeing you come and find me... I trust you... I trusted in you... You... you betrayed me by leaving me in the worst possible way!" He started hyperventilating, trying to catch his breath as he tried not to remember the hell he had gone through. "I trust you so much..."

Merida slowly walked up to him and knelt down in front of him, putting her hand on his knee. He allowed it as he choked back tears.

"Ye have everra right not to forgive me. I dinnae even forgive myself. I tried to be good, not let my emotions take me to jail and with that, I ended up letting everraone dictate what I should do. An Edgar hadnae had a better wit than me, ye'd still be there and I'd still be going starkraving mad because I couldnae come. Ye're right. I failed ye. I let that woman destroy ye-"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get. Out. I don't want you near me anymore. Your services are no longer needed. Get out. Now."

Merida nodded and stood up, walking to her room. Once she was gone, Higgs couldn't even try to stop his tears as he started bawling again, so confused about his feelings.

"What have I done?! Why did I say that?!"

Edgar knelt down and took his hands in his. "Listen to me, Mr. Higgs, it's alright. Merida knows. She understands and won't really leave you."

"How could she not go? Edgar, what have I done?"

Edgar touched his face and wiped his tears away. "She knows you're hurting so much in ways she couldn't possibly understand. She knows, Mr. Higgs." Higgs sniffled as Edgar went around to the back of the wheelchair. "Come on, you need sleep. I'll call Dr. Graves to come and give you something for the pain."

He turned the wheelchair around and they passed by Merida's door.

"Edgar, why did I say that? Why can't I... why can't I be normal?"

"You are being normal. Lashing out against an injustice that you feel has been done is normal. Elizabeth made it seem like it wasn't but I promise you that this is completely and utterly normal. Merida isn't angry with you in the least."

"But I told her to go away..."

"Do you want her to go away?"

"No."

"Then she won't."

"How can you be sure?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"I trust Merida. If I trust her and you trust me, then you don't need to worry."

"I don't feel well."

"I'm sure you don't. You got yourself riled up."

He wheeled Higgs into his room, trying to understand himself what exactly happened between them.

****************

After he sent someone to retrieve Lucas and he came by, Edgar headed up the stairs with a tray and met him coming down.

"Is that for Higgs?" Lucas asked.

"No, it's for Ma. They um... she made Higgs express how he felt."

Lucas sighed. "I told her not to come in contact with him until he was in a better state."

"I honestly don't think there is a state he can get to that's better without Merida, Dr. Graves. I don't try to stop it anymore... Their relationship is odd."

Lucas nodded in agreement. "How are you faring?"

"Mr. Higgs' outbursts are kind of hard to figure out but-"

"No, I mean with what you experienced. You saw and heard some pretty horrible things yourself. Have you spoken to anyone about it?"

"I'm fine." Edgar said with a smile.

"Edgar. No one could have gone through what you two went through and be fine unless they were crazy or emotionless."

"I don't want to be a burden. Mr. Higgs is far worse than I am."

This family, I swear... "Kid, you aren't a burden. You're very important and we all love you. You need to tell someone; anyone. I feel like you just don't want to talk to Merida. Is there someone else that you could speak with?"

Edgar gripped the tray harder. "Merida's food is getting cold. Thank you for your concern, Dr. Graves, but I'm fine."

He walked past Lucas and he swore he heard him say under his breath, "I have to be." If what he said was correct, then Lucas knew he was only postponing the inevitable. It may not have been to the degree of Higgs and he may not have been directly affected by it, but Edgar was still a child and he witnessed the same cruelty and malice that Higgs had to endure. The effects wouldn't have been so easy on him. He was just postponing the inevitable.