Her Diary

Downhill from there !

Downhill from there !

[P.o.v Dream]

Chapter -3

Dear Diary

My life , everything around me was crashing down after Mammas death.

Dad got Laid off , was jumping from job to job.

There is barely food in the house , like Dad even told us we should start stealing food because the money he does have needs to go to the bills.

So there is maybe only one gallon of juice in the house to last us a week.

Isaac & Isaiah were getting into a lot of gang fights , the other day Isaiah came home with a bullet wound in his arm.

The only reason I saw it was because I walked into his room without knocking , he was sitting there bleeding and Isaac was trying to tend to it.

When I started to cry , Isaac held me.

"Shh , it's only a flesh wound. Isaiah will be alright just go your room and sleep you got school tomorrow ," Isaac told me.

I only nodded as he lead out the room then close the door behind me.

I cried myself to sleep hoping Isaiah would make it through the night , I don't know anything about gun wounds , but I want to be a Surgeon so technically I should learn right ?!

Amaris wasn't doing better , she thinks I hadn't seen the marks on her body when I walked in on her in the bathroom when she had just gotten out on mistake.

They didn't look like sexual marks like hickies , those where purple red bruise you get when someone really fucked you up.

I know those marks because I have some of my own . . .

Dad . . . Well Dad cries his self to sleep night after night , I can hear him when I can't sleep. I actually peeped on him from the bedroom doorway as he cried hugging my mothers pillow.

He hadn't even touched her side of the room , Her side of the closet was still the same and her side of the bathroom.

Everything remained the same from how she left it.

It's been five weeks since her passing and we are broken apart.

Mentally we can't focus , Emotionally we are dead , and Physically we look like we are trying to survive.

Me.

Ha.

I'm the only one who seems normal , but I'm not I'm actually the most worse one out of my big happy bunch.

I have become addicted to engraving in my skin with a razor , big long lines that release the pain .

It helps .

Know one sees it because I only engrave the large lines on my thighs..

These five weeks Ivory just does her best to cheer me up , nothing she does helps but I smile to give her hope.

Zephyr has been around , he found out about my mothers death and was kind of mad I didn't tell him. Then he felt bad about it when I told him she died the same day I met him , he was actually lost of words.

He started to hang around me more and all of a sudden the bullying started , I don't know if girls were jealous or just hated me , But everything was going downhill in my life.

The girls were becoming vicious over a boy that didn't like them and he hung out with me.

I don't know whether to tell Zephyr or keep it to myself. . .

Naw I'm a big girl ! I can handle it.

Zephyr actually had been succeeding in helping me get over Mum's death but when he's not around I'm consumed with thoughts and I can't take it. Ivory now and days just feels like she hates me because of Zephyr but I think I'm Just over thinking things. Me & her bestfriend since kids !

Sometimes while writing in this Diary I feel like I'm speaking to mum again like the words I'm writing on to this page are like words going into her ear drums. . .

Lol , Yeah extra weird.

But mum I miss you , we can't make it without you.