drowning

9

Trigger warning, suicide attempt!

I ran all the way home, never calling Ava.

When I got there, she was on the phone, sitting outside.

"I just wish this would've never happened" I could hear the emotion in her voice.

"And it's like Jacob and I can't even click like we used to. Like we have moments where we're happy, but yet it's still not the same as it used to be." I found myself crying at her words

Maybe if I wasn't here, she would be able to be normal again.

I found myself breaking into my dads gun case.

"Fuck!" I almost screamed as I saw a second lock that had never been there before.

Then a pill bottle caught my attention.

I read the label.

OxyContin, in my moms name.

I didn't hesitate before taking all of them

I then walked to Eve's room, laying in her bed.

I didn't get to see her after she passed, I wasn't strong enough to look.

Maybe now I'll be able to see her again, to hold her again.

Ava.

I talked on the phone to Ashton, him squeezing in a phone call to talk about a few things that I needed to say before our in person meeting.

"You and Jacob won't click back immediately- you've both been through tragedy, and you're both very young-" I felt a tear slip down my face for the first time since everything.

I wiped it quickly

Him and I stayed on the phone for another ten minutes before I got a text from Jacobs football coach

Hey, was just informed that Jacob left school early, I know he was upset about our decision for him not to play this semester, but hoping everything it okay.

I didn't respond to something Ashton said as I read that, which made him speak again.

"You okay, Ava?" He asked, making me hum

"Yeah- I'm fine, Jacobs coach just told me that Jacob left school early, but he didn't call me." I spoke as I stood, keeping Ashton on speaker as I went inside .

"Let me call you back" I spoke as I saw Jacobs backpack on the floor, knowing he was home.

"Can you just keep me on the phone until you make sure he's okay? I want to make sure he isn't having a panic attack or anything-" "sure"

Ashton.

I listened calmly, but I had a bad feeling.

Why did I have a bad feeling?

I don't know.

I heard her call his name out and soon I heard a gasp

"What's wrong?" I heard her say.

"Jacob" her voice panicked more.

"Oh my god" I heard her scream.

"What did you take?" She screamed again.

No.

"Ava," I panicked through the phone, immediately finding her folder, getting her address.

Ava.

I stuck my fingers down his throat- his body wouldn't even gag.

There were cuts down his arms, I pressed my hands against them to try and stop the blood flowing down them

I screamed

I tried the heimlich maneuver, CPR, anything that I could think of.

"Jacob!" I screamed to his unresponsive body, wrapping his arms with a blanket off of Eve's bed.

"You're okay bubba" I told him.

"You're okay." I told him repeatedly.

I did CPR.

I soon felt a body grab mine, pulling me off of him.

I couldn't even hear.

But I knew I screamed

Ashton.

When I ran into the room, I knew it wasn't good.

There was somehow blood everywhere, I could see Ava's body preforming CPR.

A paramedic immediately moved beside her, asking her if he could take over.

She didn't even act as if she saw him.

"Guys- a little help" he spoke after a moment and I could tell from his body language- it wasn't good.

I moved first, picking her body up, off of him.

She screamed a loud "no!" But her body didn't fight me.

I carried her out the room, her panicked breathing concerning me.

I got her seated in the hallway, looking to her.

Her eyes were frantic, she somehow was covered in his blood, she couldn't breathe.

"David" I called a paramedic over, himself immediately putting an oxygen mask on her.

"We need to get her to the hospital- her vitals are shit" he mumbled as he took her blood pressure.

"Jacob." She spoke firmly.

"We will be transporting him as well" David spoke for me.

I rode with her, texting Luke, telling him we needed him.

Her body was shaking, her uneven breaths made me nervous, she didn't speak or cry or even look at me.

"I can't hear." she spoke after several minutes of the paramedic asking her questions.

She was in shock and her blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof, it didn't shock me.

"I can't find a vein" I heard her paramedic speak after searching for one for several minutes

"Give me it,"