drowning

49

Ashton.

By the fifth drink, I was pretty drunk.

By my eighth drink, I was drunk texting Ava, but my signal was so bad they weren't going through.

By my tenth drink, Calum was slapping me, telling me to get my shit together as I dozed off on the couch.

"Come on mate- we are going to meet the girls at the club, Ava is there-" "bring her to me"

I wanted my baby.

I fell asleep for a few minutes and then I woke up to her gently touch.

I opened my eyes- feeling the immediate nauseated feeling, seeing double as my head spun.

"Ava, baby"

She sounded muffled, she must've been drunk.

She put her arms around me, guiding me to a room.

"How do you know where this is?" I asked her, knowing she had never been in this house.

I heard her say something, but I couldn't be sure of what.

As I laid down, trying to rest before I threw up, I felt her straddle me.

"Baby girl, no" I groaned, knowing I'd probably throw up before I could even try to be intimate with her.

She didn't stop, which wasn't usual for her.

She normally never even initiated anything, she would fully want me to initiate things and then she would participate as she wanted, so this was different.

"Ava- I'm going to be sick" I managed to laugh out as she pulled my shirt over my head.

I kept trying to open my eyes- but they'd shut right back.

I was so sleepy.

I felt her struggle, but she pulled my pants off.

Just as she went for my boxers, I grabbed her hands.

"Remember our deal, no sex when drunk." I spoke firmly to her

I felt the lips kissing my neck, which I stopped, pecking her lips before I turned on my side.

"Come on, baby girl- cuddles and when I recover from this hangover we can have sex" I proposed, feeling her body fall beside mine.

I put my arm over her, resting it in her side, feeling what felt like extra skin from normal.

"Sorry Ava baby, I'll make this up to you"

I woke up to cold water hitting me, making me immediately gasp, an unfamiliar scream coming from beside me.

"Fuck" I immediately felt my head pounding as I looked to the body thy threw the water, seeing Luke.

"What the hell-" "she fucking loved you!" Sierra yelled, making my head pound with my heart beat.

"And this is how you repay her!"

"What are you talking about?" I shot to her, not even knowing where I was

"Ashton- what the hell?" I looked to the female voice from beside me, making me immediately jump to my feet as I saw an almost naked blonde, staring to me- I didn't even know where my clothes were.

"What is going on?" I panicked.

"Oh boy- are you the dumbest motherfucker I've ever met."

"I don't know what happened" I panicked to Luke as he drove me to our apartments.

"Did you sleep with her, or not?" Luke was angry through his tone of voice.

"I just told you! I do not know, I don't remember anything after we took patron shots!" I yelled.

"But I don't think I would've, I have a rule about not sleeping with anyone when I'm drunk" I told him.

"Ashton- I truly don't know what to tell you, other than the fact that you fucked up. "

I tried calling Ava, it went to voicemail immediately.

"Drop me at our unit-" "no you're staying with me tonight." Luke spoke.

"I absolutely am not-" "Ava just text me and asked if I would let you stay with me tonight and I said yes, Ava does not want to see you right now, and that is what we are following."

Ava.

I packed all of my things before crawling into our bed, feeling my tears cascading down my cheeks.

God why do you hate me being happy?

I cried until I saw the sun come up.

I needed to leave before Ashton comes home.

But what am I without Ashton?

I have no family
I have no friends besides the ones Ashton introduced me to
I have no car
I have no home
I have no will to even be alive without Ashton

I hurried and showered, managing to cry my way through the shower over just the thought of what I was going to do now.

I know I could find an apartment, and I had all of my parents furniture and such in storage, so I'd be fine house wise once I get one.

But what is the actual point of any of this?

I soon heard the door open.

"Ava, baby" his voice sounded as if he had been crying.

I didn't even look.

"Baby- I swear- I don't know what happened." He sobbed.

I covered my face, trying to ignore him.

"I am so fucking sorry- I am unbelievably sorry, but baby I swear to God himself that I do not remember a single detail of the night-""did you Fuck her?" I yelled to him.

"Baby, I don't think so" the sound of his voice hurt me.

"You don't think" those words made me cry.

"Baby I love you more than life itself- I would never willingly do anything to hurt you, you know that." I ignored him.

"Why did you even get this drunk? To the point to where you can't even remember anything?" I cried out, totally wishing I could go back to when Calum was first asking him about the stupid fucking party.

"Baby, you know I love you more than I love life itself-" "then why did I have to see you almost naked- in bed with a different naked girl" I finally looked at him, crying as I did

"Baby, I promise you, I would never ever do that to you."

"But you don't even know that, because you can't remember."