AT YOUR SERVICE

47. Second Thoughts 💦🔞

Y/N's POV

The car ride back to my apartment felt like it took an eternity. I knew Jimin would probably react badly but this isn't what I was expecting. I thought, after so many years, he'd have moved on by now. I didn't expect him to still have any feelings for me. If anything, I expected him to hate me. I expected for him to yell at me, curse me out for leaving the way I did and cutting off all communication, not to profess his love to me and kiss me in front of my boyfriend and his members.

If I'm being honest, I was scared when he first leaned in to kiss me. I was scared that all those feelings would come back and reawaken in me. I was scared of falling for his trap again. But all I felt when his lips were on mine was...regret, sorrow and heartache. This is what I wanted so long ago. Y/N from five years ago would have been leaping for joy at the thought of Park Jimin telling her he loves her. But now I wish he had never said it. I can't reciprocate those feelings for him, I don't feel anything for him. My heart didn't skip a beat, the butterflies never came and I didn't feel like I was floating. Nothing like how I used to feel when he would kiss me. I didn't feel the fire he used to evoke in my core when he would touch me. It was all just...nothing.

I was quiet the whole ride home. Namjoon held my hand, like he normally does. His thumb was rubbing my palm, his way of reassuring me that no matter what inner turmoil my mind was putting me through, he was right there beside me. Amy was quiet too. She didn't say much after all that chaos but she was probably just giving me space. Besides Namjoon and my mom, she knows me better than anyone. She knows when my mind is reeling, I just need some quiet time to reflect.

We get to my building and the driver pulls into the parking garage, letting us off at the doors to the elevator. We all thank him as we get off. When Namjoon and I are walking towards the door, Amy stops me.

"Hey. What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing at all. But I'm gonna go and give you guys some time. I know you probably have a lot to talk about and it's late anyway."

"You were supposed to spend the night." I pout.

"There will be other nights. Besides, I think your man wouldn't mind spending a little alone time with you, too." she chuckles.

"Maybe you're right. But soon enough, he'll have me all the time and you won't."

"We'll talk about that later. Go. I'll call you tomorrow and once they leave, we can talk about all this. You've spent enough time apart. Go be with your man." she says and she pulls me in for a hug. "Goodnight, Namjoon. It was wonderful to meet you. Thank you so much for the tickets to the show. I loved every second of it. Truly, I can't wait to do it again." she says as she hugs him too.

"You're welcome. I hope you know, you're welcome to come visit us in Korea anytime you want. I'll make sure we keep a permanent bedroom for you in our new home." he smiles at her as he returns her hug.

"Our new home?" I ask.

"Well, yeah. Did you think we were gonna live in the forest?" he chuckles.

"I mean, kind of."

"The forest? What is this, A Bug's Life?" asks Amy causing me to giggle.

"No, dummy. He has a house in this super secluded area that's completely covered in trees and stuff but gives a beautiful view. Honestly it's like walking into a private little forest, it's gorgeous. You're not getting rid of it, are you?" I turn and ask Namjoon.

"I'm not but as beautiful as it is, it's too far from the city and from the company. I need something closer, something in the city that isn't far from the company or the studio. So, once you come back, we'll go apartment shopping."