He/him pronouns this chapter
Written 7/31/31
Mention of suicidal thoughts, guilt. Some triggering things.
Everyone was running around, trying to find supplies to remove the thing from Elevens leg.
It's my fault. My fault.
"Hey, hey, hey. Stay awake, stay awake. Let's get her on this side, on this side.", everyone helped move Eleven and I watched, trying not to sob with guilt. I closed my eyes and tried to picture happy things.
"What are you doing?!", I hear Mike yell. I opened my eyes, "Help us, idiot!". I opened my mouth in shock and I back away. I turn and run to the nearest store. The Gap. I felt my body changing. This has never happened before. I shift into Lena, Laura, Will, Eleven, and Peter. I saw myself in the mirror. I was in my normal form, covered in blood, my eyes were shot with red veins surrounding my pupils. I looked at my hand. I was holding a knife. The knife I tried to hurt myself with.
Do it, you're useless
Do it, you don't deserve to live
Do it, no one loves you
Do it
I raised the knife to my chest and closed my eyes. I pressed the tip to where my heart was located and started pressing into my skin. I held in my groans and felt my face lift as I smiled.
"Y/n? Y/N?", I heard a voice scream and I blinked twice to see Will standing in front of me and shaking my shoulders. He looked scared and I shook my head, "Y/n? Are you ok?". I turned to Mike, "I'm trying to help. I'm not an idiot.". He look confused, "What are you talking about?". "Y-y-you asked what I was doing and you called me an idiot.", I stuttered. "Y/n, your starting to make me worry. What's wrong?", Max asked. "I don't know. I snapped. I think this is just starting to make me lose it. I can't calm down. Where's my music. I need that, and paper.", I look at Max and she stood up. Eleven screamed and I realized they still haven't got the thing out yet. I kneeled down and held her hand. "Squeez if it hurts. Here.", I grabbed the wooden spoon and put it in her mouth. She nodded. "Go.", I turned to Jonathan and he looked at Elevens leg. He grabbed the knife he stole, definitely not mine because that would be hella unsanitary, and moved in so it was positioned to cut into Elevens leg, "Okay. All right, El? This is gonna hurt like hell, okay?". "Okay.", Eleven sobbed. "Need your to stay real still.", Jonathan told her and I looked at the ground.
My fault.
"Jesus Christ.", Dustin muttered. "Do it.", Mike said and Jonathan started cutting into her leg and Eleven screamed. I ignored the pain in my hand and looked at the incision. I closed my eyes
"Eleven."
"Eleven. I'll take the pain. You can give it to me. Focus on the pain and put your palm to mine... and press."
I felt Elevens hand shift and she put her palm against mine.
"Now.", I whispered and she pressed and I bit my lip.
The pain was almost unbearable, but I've felt worse.
"Y/n... thank you.", Eleven looked me in the eye. "Of course. Siblings stick together.", I strained and backed away slowly. I layed onto the floor and closed my eyes.
"Peter?", I asked, "Why do I have to stay in here?". Peter smiled, "Don't worry. I'll be back.". I sighed and Peter walked out of the door. He told me to stay in my room until he got me. I heard screams and was tempted to walk out but I have to follow Peters rules. He's everything, and I don't want to disappoint him.
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