The Darkened War

Ch.35

Calix didn't move from his place as he leaned up against a tree right outside the three cult leader's tent, picking his cuticles. In fact, part of him was about ready to dismiss the entire argument he'd heard; and while it was amusing how the anger in Analia's voice complimented the fear in Aaron's—there was still a voice telling him to leave it all behind and walk his sister back to their tent. Still, that was only part of him; the other half of his mind, the half which usually took control, was already scheming.

If Calix had been planning on blackmailing Aaron by telling Analia about what he had done, it was clear that chance was over, but—that had never really been his style. He wasn't a bad person after all—no, not a truly bad person in the slightest. He simply had his way of seeking out what he wanted, and perhaps to ensure he got just exactly that, twisted or exaggerated the truth from time to time. That never really hurt anyone, after all, and if it did, that was hardly Calix's fault. In life, some were wealthier than others, and those who buy their happiness; the same way others are charming, and win it. Some are smart, others beautiful, and some fantastic with words—Calix being one of them. A few white lies and tales merely made on creativity, and flattery here and there was always fun. And there was nothing better than fun, Calix thought, to lighten a dark world. There was nothing better than a little peace during a war, and nothing more reassuring than a smile when you're about to fall apart, and day by day, Calix was the one keeping both him, and his sister, above the water.

And that brought him back to the decision of where to go with this next. Most people would take all the remaining trust they had and put it into their leaders, and Calix knew that would be so much easier; pretend Analia, Aaron and Aira had it under control, pick up his sister, and go home. While that would make things far simpler for Antinanco's three, there was an issue with that option. It was the same issue that always came up whenever Calix was involved; he didn't see how that would benefit him.

Calix watched the cult leader's tent a moment longer before the shuffling of Aaron's feet went silent, and the last remaining lamp that was keeping the light alive went out. Calix heard the sound of Aaron getting into bed, and yet had a feeling he hadn't fallen asleep. That he couldn't. After everything that had been said between him and Analia, he'd stay up all night tossing and turning, and worrying about what would become of him after he was removed from his position. Calix knew how that felt, how sleepless nights drained you, but not as badly as the hopelessness and misery that caused them. For the last week, his sister had spent every night screaming, wailing about how she was drowning and couldn't breathe; that the water filling her lungs hurt. And Calix had spent those nights by her side, stroking her ivory hair and murmuring softly that everything was alright, meanwhile wondering if everything wasn't a little bit his fault. If he had made a mistake in teaching her that lies became true if you told yourself them enough. That dreams become reality if only you wished it to be so.

Dwelling on that guilt, however, never got him anywhere and benefited neither him nor his sister. So he covered his guilt with even more beautiful lies. His sister's sickness would go away with age. The fear caused by her overactive imagination would eventually be crushed by reality. Cold, miserable reality would heal her. If only he believed it so, he could use reality for his advantage. Along with his cult leader's secrets. Along with everyone he trampled on. Somehow, it would make his and his sister's life better. And yet,when it actually came to time to face this reality, he saw nothing good. He saw the dark cults, with every person they slaughtered, a person closer to killing Lucy and himself. He saw Analia, who always seemed so calm, dripping with a panic that she could not hide no matter how hard she tried to cover it with anger. The three didn't know what to do, they were just as unsure and scared as Calix was. They were all going to die. He was going to die. Lucy too. Would it be a good thing, to have her pain taken from her, or was life worth living, even when it was painful? He didn't know. He never would.