I woke up screaming again. This time the nightmare wasn't a flashback from the past, it was a revolting scene of that night but the guy who started it all - the pimp - had Josh's face. And in the background Anna wasn't passed out from a drug overdose, she was stood over me laughing as I was raped over ten times.
George was already wide awake, ready to comfort me as I struggled to breathe. His arms enclosed around me, pulling me towards him, the movement of his steady breath blowing down my neck repelling away the memories.
A few tears rolled down my face, signalling that this was going to be the start of gut wrenching sobs.
"Shh..." He cooed in my ear and rocked me from side to side. I bit my lip to prevent the weeps but they were hard to contain. "You're okay, you're safe."
I'd never cried after a nightmare before. In fact, other than screams for help, I'd never let out any reaction after a nightmare or flashback.
It was George who was bringing it out of me.
Acceptance seemed to be what made me let it all out. It felt good to finally be rid of all the bottled up pain, but at the same time I couldn't help but think how annoying it must be for all his shirts to be soaked with my tears.
I cried until my throat stung, all the images from the night-terror dulled at the back of my mind thanks to this boy, but the disgust and agony still present.
A burning in my stomach and a vile taste was the first sign I got to sprint to the bathroom. I struggled out of George's grasp, raced through the door before empting the contents of my stomach - which wasn't much - into the basin.
Urgh. Vomiting is horrid.
I felt him follow me, rubbing my back and holding my hair away so I couldn't throw up on it.
After a few minutes of puking and dry heaving, I flushed the toilet. Feeling my stomach empty, I slumped on the floor. The cool tiles against my sweaty forehead were soothing.
"You okay?"
What a stupid question. Of course I wasn't okay.
I nodded pulling a smile but as usual he saw past the façade and helped me stand to brush my teeth, supporting my body the entire time.
Then we went back to bed and snuggled down in the covers.
"I wish I could take away the pain, Cassie." George whispered in my ear once I'd settled myself on his chest, his arm pulling tightly on my waist.
Glancing up and locking with his glorious eyes I shook my head.
"You already are."
It was the truth and I prayed that soon they'd be hardly any pain left.
Although, I doubted it.
*
George seemed to be keen on keeping me busy so in the morning we went for another run. Well... sprint.
It really did help me a lot. Cigarettes and alcohol made me feeling numb and as much as that was peaceful, running was always better.
It made me feel alive and powerful - like when George kissed me.
When I had sex it made me feel in control but honestly having sex was the last thing I wanted to do right now. I don't think I'd ever thought that since that night four years ago.
That night made me want to be dominant when it came to intimacy but after the incident with Josh the idea of touching someone or them touching me was terrifying.
YOU ARE READING
Hiding Anna
Romance"Cassie stop. You're going to collapse..."George called softly in the wind. My mind was already elsewhere, detached from my body. I don't know what kept my feet moving, but something did. Keep running. But I can't. I didn't understand what was happ...
