"What?" I gasped. No. No she can't have. My mother wasn't my siblings: I couldn't control her like them because I was older.
Technically, she was in charge.
Actually, I was eighteen. I didn't take shit from anyone anymore.
"She and I had a chat and I've decided that I'm not mad. Honestly, I think it was extremely brave and mature of you to take her in. God knows what would have happened otherwise."
Was I really hearing this?
"And I've also decided that I'm going to stay home for a while. Well at least until Anna gives birth and then we'll see afterwards. It would be stupid to leave you here with her on your own without any proper adult around." She explained.
"I am an adult actually." I interrupted, surprising myself with my brute tone. "And I've been doing just fine for the past five months without you thanks."
Whoa. Never did I expect that to come out my mouth. What caused this onslaught of opinion? I think that the knowledge of her permanently staying with me made me realise I had to tell her what I was feeling and not tiptoe around pretending I wasn't hurt.
"Excuse me?" She asked incredulously.
"You heard me. I said that for the past five months I've been looking after a pregnant seventeen year old just fine without you." I repeated, anger lacing my voice.
"I'm well aware, Cassie. Anna told me. What's stirred up this attitude?"
"Maybe the fact that you suddenly decide that when the girl I hate is in trouble you come rushing back but with your own children it's not the case. You weren't here on either of our birthdays, you left on Boxing Day morning and you are hardly ever here anyway." I said. The words were flowing and I couldn't stop them. "Where were you when Abi was getting downgraded at dance because she happens to fancy girls? Or when I was depressed and maybe just needed a parent to look after me, talk to me?"
Or when I was raped at a party.
It would be so easy just to say that simple sentence and let it out there, but I knew that it'd be even more problematic and complicated if my mum knew.
"And Harry. You weren't even here to meet his girlfriend." I finished, fully satisfied with my argument and somewhat relieved that I'd got it out there.
My mother and I had a distant relationship, and so speaking the truth and telling her how I really felt was new and I liked it. It was refreshing.
"Which Anna has told me took an interesting course. However, from what she said it seems you weren't very well, and still aren't." She was ignoring my spiteful attitude now. Her tone softened. "Are you still depressed, Cassie?"
"Yes. It's getting better, but yes I'd say I'm still depressed." I could have expanded and explained that I hadn't spoken to my friends in three months nor had I really left the house unless George dragged me. I didn't tell her how my nightmares came to haunt me and how I couldn't fall asleep well without George beside me.
I missed all that important information.
"I'm sorry for not being here." My mother sighed. "But it's just the way it is. I can't be in the house, I can't be around you kids for too long. It hurts me too much."
"And so how do you think we've felt for the past ten years being left with a nanny or on our own?" I retorted. God how I wanted to slap her. Cruel you might say, but this mother of mine was submerging me in spite.
Before, I never thought too much about her to care about the effects of her absence. But when I found out that she decided to move back in because of a girl that she doesn't even know, pushed me over the limit.
YOU ARE READING
Hiding Anna
Romance"Cassie stop. You're going to collapse..."George called softly in the wind. My mind was already elsewhere, detached from my body. I don't know what kept my feet moving, but something did. Keep running. But I can't. I didn't understand what was happ...
