Hiding Anna

Chapter Thirty-Three: Makeup

Next morning, I mellowed in the fact that George Lassalle loved me. Sure it was something I would have never expected, or wanted for that matter, yet I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

I wasn't stupid. I think he must have had that thought for some time, and I must have too but actually saying it was another matter. He was so kind. He waited for me to say it before him because he knew - and so did I - that I would have been scared away for good if George uttered the words first.

It had taken every ounce of confident and power in me to overcome the barrier that kept me from releasing my feelings.

Surprisingly, George was still asleep. Most days, I would wake to him already awake. Not today.

Well, that makes sense. I was pretty tired after yesterday too.

I'd had a lot of sex in my time but yesterday was different. Nice, amazing obviously but different. It made us become one, sharing the same mind, body and soul. It made me feel all powerful, an uncontrollable desire, an indescribable lust, cutting off any want to be swayed to someone else.

Staying very still, I mulled over these thoughts, careful not to wake George. The desire to look at his face was high but I resisted noting how peaceful he seemed resting his head on top of mine with his arm loosely wrapped around my waist. We'd hadn't moved at all during the night, my arms still slung around his neck. Spicy and clean, his cologne cloaked his skin, his smell now so familiar and always so comforting.

I kissed his collarbone very delicately to not wake him, just to feel the smoothness of his skin against my lips. Unfortunately, he stirred and lifted his head, obviously I was not soft enough because seconds later his cobalt eyes flickered open for me to see.

"Morning." I whispered very, very quietly and slowly brushed the backs of my fingers over his cheek.

He didn't answer, he just smiled softly and closed his eyes again, and shifted so my head was at the same level as his and our steady, sleepy breaths mingled in the air.

"Stay with me like this forever, Cassie." He said suddenly and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck, dotting a few warm kisses there.

"Okay."

*

Later on, after a few long hours of half dozing, half cuddling, we finally got up out of bed, got dressed and made some breakfast. For the first time in many months my appetite was present and I actually wanted to eat the amazing full English George prepared. In fact, I devoured it.

"Cassie, I don't want to kill the mood but I want to ask you a question I was thinking about." He said and pulled me onto his lap. I observed the serious expression on his face as he cupped my chin.

"Ask me anything."

Haltering, he considered his words. "It was just as we were having sex, I thought about how I wanted to keep you so safe and protected and how I'd failed in the past by not protecting you, even if I didn't know you very well then. And the things you did to try and help yourself, to get through it, and how that'll effect you now."

"You want to know what drugs I did don't you?" I sighed, resting my forehead against his, knowing exactly where this was heading. "George, you won't like the answer."

"I just want to know, I'm not going to judge. It won't change my opinion on you, I just want to know." He coaxed gently.

"George..." I groaned softly, hating that he wanted me to reveal the most hideous actions I'd done to the person I cared most about. My heart battered unsteadily and I swallowed back dry air.