Quarantined (ninjago edition)

How to pi the most pi male to have ever been pied.

If you've been on the internet for a long time than you must be aware of Alpha, Beta and Sigma males. Well I am going to introduce a new type of male. The Pi male, which is ten times cooler than all of them combined. B)

Also I'm leaving this up to your intrepretation. You can decide whether Kai would make this as a joke or as a genuine thing. I interpret it as him making it as a joke 'cause well, that's the purpose of this chapter lmao.

Enjoy!

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Kai: Hey guys welcome back to my Ninjagram story. Today I'm going to teach you how to be the most Pi male to have ever maled.

Kai: Men, Women, Children, have you ever wished to be the most Malest pi male to have ever pied? Well in these easy steps, you can become one. By the time I've finished teaching, you will have become the most pi male to exist. It doesn't matter if did the tutorial or not, it doesn't matter who you are and what you identify as, by the time I'm done. You will be a pi male.

Kai: First thing you need to do to be a pi male is to pick out an appropriate outfit. I suggest that you pick a long red dress with a slit down the side. The dress is red because its the colour of blood and it will let people know that you are scary. And the slit down the side is so that if anyone tries to challenge you, you can instantly use the slit to show your ripped leg and scare them off.

Kai: It is necessary that you don't skip leg day but if you do skip leg day and still want to get a dress with a slit down the side, I suggest that you tape raw meat to your leg. It is equally horrifying.

(Off camera)

Kai: *comes in Nya's room* Hey Nya, do you happen to have a long red dress with a slit down one side? I need it for my pi male tutorial.

Nya: I don't have anything like that.

Kai: What do you mean you don't have that! Everyone does! *rummages through Nya's closet* How about this one? *pulls out Nya's S1 dress* it's red and has slits.

Nya: I am not letting you contaminate my beautiful dress with your-

Kai: *runs* Thank you so much Nya! Love you, bye!

(Back on camera)

Kai: *wearing Nya's S1 dress* Special shout out to my sister for letting me steal her dress! I look just like a pi male in it. And its made of actual silk!Though it is a bit small but that's ok.

Kai: Next step is maintaining your dominance. Everyone needs to know that you are a Pi male whenever you enter a room. So in order to do that you must wear the longest high heels you can find. I lucked out today and managed to find these 10 feet long stilts with shoes attached to them on the Borg Online Marketplace. They were being sold by a user called, "Fugidove_is_bae_69" so huge shoutout to them!

Kai: Now we must make sure that you have a weapon on hand if someone is actually dumb enough to challenge you. So if you excuse me I'll just, *pauses video*

(Off camera)

Kai: Hey Nya, do you happen to have those really long press on nails?

Nya: No. But Jay does.

Kai: Jay likes to paint his nails? I didn't know that!

Nya: Not exactly. The real reason he has them is so that he can annoy everyone by scratching them on stuff like blackboards or ceramic plates.

Kai: So that's where those noises keep coming from!

Nya: Anyway are you going to give me my dress ba-

Kai: Thanks for the info sis! I'll see you later! *runs to Jay's room*

Kai: Hey Jay can I borrow your press on nails?

Jay: No

Kai: Please! I need them for my Pi male tutorial! I promise I'll do your chores for a whole day!

Jay: A whole week.

Kai: Fine! A whole week!

Jay: They're in the bottom drawer. Don't use use the cat ones though.

Kai: Why?

Jay: Nya customized them for me 😊

Kai: Ew you're talking in emoji again. *opens bottom drawer and tries to put on the nails* wha- why aren't they sticking?!

Jay: Yeah you need to use this special glue to make them stick. It's pretty bad at its job though. The first time I tried it, one of the nails flew off as soon as I placed my hand on the blackboa- I mean- table. Anyway ever since then I've started using duct tape to secure them.

Kai: ......

Jay: Ok, Yes, I wasn't using the nails for their intended purpose but the duct tape method still better!

Kai: I don't even know what to say. *leaves*

(Back on camera)

Kai: So I had a different plan for the weapon but after having a chat with a friend who I'm not gonna give a shoutout to because they're uhhh... very secretive about their identity. So anyway after having a chat with my friend, I've decided to tape on these knives to my fingernails. Now you can immediately scare away anyone dumb enough to challenge you.

Kai: I also reccomend wearing a hat that is at least 2 metres in diameter. So that all those wimpy Sigma Males will be forced to stay away from you and only true Pi males will be allowed to get near you.

Kai: *holds up hat that is 3 metres in diameter* Now if your wondering where I got this from, Sensei Wu has an amazing hat collection that is filled with hats like these so if you want one for yourself. Just go The monastery's second floor bedroom. The one thats right across the staircase and once you're inside, just open the built in closet and you'll immediately find what you need.

Kai: Now that we're done with the appearance part. We can start working on behaviour. With these simple rules, you'll become a Pi male in no time.

Kai: Number one, A Pi male's favourite is a pie. Doesn't matter which flavour it is.

Kai: Number two, Pi males don't share as it is a sign of stupidity.

Kai: Number three, Pi males only breath nicotine. If you even think to breath oxygen than you'll become a wimpy Alpha male.

Kai: Number four, your mom.

Kai: Number five, Pi males shall always greet other Pi males by saying, "Hi Pi!"

Kai: And that's all you need to know in order to be a Pi male. Your Pi male transformation begins in one, two three..

Kai: Congratulations! You're now a Pi male! And don't worry, it's perfectly normal for us Pi males to constantly want to act like a crappy copy of the men in black. You just need to get used to it. Anyway I hope you liked my tutorial and I'll see you next time! *turns off camera*

Kai: Not gonna lie, I kinda like wearing this dress.

Nya: CAN I PLEASE HAVE THAT BACK!?

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Smh I constantly keep reading Pi male as Bi male-